I’m the Hot Doctor on This Network Hospital Show and I’m Breaking All the Rules Today
ALL of our doctors are SEXY, except for the uptight woman in neurology. Don't worry, she'll BECOME sexy when I convince her to take off her glasses.
Tag: Satire
Beto’s Response to Andrew Yang’s Skate-Off Challenge
What are you gonna do next, wear Vans to a fundraiser? Actually, don’t do that, I’m calling dibs, homie.
Supreme Announces Collab With the Double-Jointed Gene
The LabelMan ™ is covered in the logos of Off-White, Palace, and Gucci. Destroying him is possible only through consistent slashing of one’s credit card.
Rob Gronkowski’s Post-Super Bowl LIII Journal of Self-Discovery
February 17, 2019: Gronk asked to leave goat yoga after try spike goat into ground. Gronk totally relaxed and just wanted to do end zone celebration.
I’m the Person Ahead of You in Line to Order Food
I see that people are putting the so-called food into their mouths. Can you tell me what that's like? How does it feel when it's inside your mouth?
Hi! I’m Calling About Your Student Loan Payments, You Fucking Deadbeat Loser!
Are able to pay today? No? That seems crazy to us, because money falls out of the sky and everybody wins the lottery at least twice a year.
Let’s Rebuild Our Infrastructure, U.S.A.-Style
If I were overseeing this initiative, I’d start with building more “natural” wonders. People seem to love lakes, mountains and caverns, right?
Ransom Note From a Kidnapper Who Just Took a Creative Writing Class
We stormed into your backyard like Viking hordes, and heaved your precious boy into a burlap sack, the rough fibers scratching his tousled hair.
Amazon Delivery Options Based on Number of Likes on Jeff Bezos’ Cat’s Instagram Posts
501-1000 likes: Your package will be delivered by dedicated Piper Cub and guarded en route by a contingent of off-duty Allstate Security agents.
Shady Hills Youth Soccer Club’s U-8 Girls Team is Not Meant to Be Fun
A 6-2 record with one game left? With five players training at Elite, we should be undefeated. Heck, we should shut out every team in this league.
A Helicopter Mom Delivers a Heartfelt Promposal
You kids have so much in common. He loves dogs, too. He just can’t be in the same room with them. He’s highly allergic. To everything.
I Know, I Look Exactly Like Bradley Cooper
I also have a picture of the two of us on my phone so you know exactly how similar we look.