Louisiana’s SHOCKING Weight Loss Secret? Climate Change!
"I essentially stuck to a low carbon monoxide, high carbon dioxide diet. It was definitely not always easy to be disciplined!"
Tag: Satire
Introducing the Apple Car
That hood and the entire car frame is made out of Gorilla Glass, the material you smudge every day and crack every other week on your iPhone screen.
Welcome to the Great Hall of Science and Nature!
Ponder morbidly whether the great stuffed beasts of plains and forest were found dead or shot purely for taxidermic purposes.
If Google is Serious About Regaining Our Trust, It Must Start by Offering Alternative Ways to Torture the Small Yellow Man in Google Maps
The Google Maps user demands options, from dangling the man above a pack of wild dogs, to launching him across the Bering Strait in a slingshot.
I’m the Founder of “Word of the Day” Calendar and I Feel Vexation and Chagrin
Even with the annual surge in profits from last-minute gifting for Mother’s and Father’s Days, this year has left us bereft and impecunious.
Bernie Man: The Festival for Everyone Who Still Says Bernie Would Have Won
Some of our most popular attractions from past festivals include Soylent breweries, meme-hacking spaces, and, by state law, a Ben & Jerry's.
Slack Thread About Betsy Ross’ New Flag Design
>Were all of the stakeholders of our young nation truly involved in the process for developing this? >What if the stars were blue on a white background? >>>>Stars aren’t blue. C’mon, be real! >>>>They should be silver, then.
HGTV Announces “The Joyce Byers Complete Home Makeover Show”
Witness participants’ dreams of a new home go unfulfilled as they contend with Joyce’s dismantling of their house to find her missing son, Will.
Thank You for Your Grace in Accepting My Debit Card, Though My Purchase was Below the Card Minimum
I reached for my wallet and peeled back its innards in vain, knowing well and good I was, in fact, cashless.
Hi, It’s Me, the Other Mayor Running for President
Mayor Pete is a former Navy officer, a Harvard grad, and speaks 7 foreign languages. However, as the owner of a Ford dealership on State Route 15.
You Bet Your Ass This is the Most Patriotic Carrot Salad You’ve Ever Eaten
This salad only has three ingredients: carrots, mayonnaise, and American elbow grease.
Strong Female Leads I Could Absolutely Destroy at Arm Wrestling
Critics and moviegoers alike were enamored by Amy Adams’s "Arrival," but Amy should be fearing my arrival should she agree to face off arm vs. arm.