NASA Unveils Tapped Alien Communications, All Between a Married Couple of 20 Years Coordinating Errands
Is Zim Zim going to shootball today question mark send send [47:24 VY-93] Yes [47:24 VY-93]
Tag: Satire
This Chuck-E-Cheese Will No Longer Offer an “Animal Style” Option on a Secret Birthday Celebration Menu
It’s come to my attention that the Chuck E. Cheese off Highway 46 continues to offer a secret “Animal Style” option on their birthday celebration menu.
I’m Not a Bad Roommate, Bro, I’m Following Deontological Ethics
“If you don't do the dishes could you at least take out the trash.” Are you serious bro? Does the Categorical Imperative mean nothing to you?
“Why Am I Suddenly Obsessed with Audrey Hepburn?”: A Puberty Book for Adult Women
Amy, age 33, is starting to notice changes with her body, such as how her hands keep reaching for the same black mock neck and red lipstick when getting dressed for work each morning.
Texting Your Dad Simulator
Opening move: Roll the die. >If the number is even, share an important life update. >If it’s odd, just ask, “Hi. How are you?”
Is There a Doctor on Board? We’d Settle for a Competent Lifeguard
Nurses in training? Maybe you’re a few credits short of your degree?... Okay, still not seeing any hands.
Former Hot Shot Dish Towel Demoted to the Rank of Rag
As a thank you for everything you’ve done for Kitchen, we’d like to offer you the position of Rag.
Be Careful! Can’t Run Before You Walk. Can’t Walk Before You Crawl. Can’t Crawl Before You Roll. Can’t Roll Before You Slide.
And you can’t crawl before you roll. And you can’t roll before you slide. And you can’t slide before you contemplate sliding.
We Made a Sequel to Your Favorite Childhood Movie to Remind You the Passage of Time Comes for Us All
The sequel answers all of your lingering questions, like: what would a 1970s child star look like with a hip replacement?
The Devil Couldn’t Reach You, So He Sent Us to Play Our Phones on Full Volume
You see, the devil couldn’t reach you, so he sent us to test you. To torment you. To destroy your inner and outer peace.
Workshopping Riddles from a Troll’s Riddles Three
Remember, it’s not getting an answer as much as creating an experience—not may they pass, but also should they?
Why I, a 10-Year-Old Alpha Male, Am Now Anti-Cooties Vaccine
It’s not your typical low-grade fever or boo-boo that goes away after your mom kisses it.