Satire | Page 11 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

Nurses in training? Maybe you’re a few credits short of your degree?... Okay, still not seeing any hands.

As a thank you for everything you’ve done for Kitchen, we’d like to offer you the position of Rag.

And you can’t crawl before you roll. And you can’t roll before you slide. And you can’t slide before you contemplate sliding.

The sequel answers all of your lingering questions, like: what would a 1970s child star look like with a hip replacement?

You see, the devil couldn’t reach you, so he sent us to test you. To torment you. To destroy your inner and outer peace.

Remember, it’s not getting an answer as much as creating an experience—not may they pass, but also should they?

It’s not your typical low-grade fever or boo-boo that goes away after your mom kisses it.

You are fairly confident you read one. Your eyes scanned the letters, making them into words, and scanned the words, making them into sentences.

Mild Bill preferred to spend his nights playing Scrabble, drinking probiotic soda, and enjoying a light Caesar salad if he really felt frisky.

Please try the ahi tuna croquette puffs—eat it off a toothpick next to that pool, just full of wet wet water.

Uncle Andy contained multitudes. At his worst, he was a truly hateful, combative, and cruel man. At his best, however, he was also really annoying.

Your vibe was soooo post-op lobotomy patient. Like, instead of being human, you were just impersonating one, you know?