I’m Beginning to Have Second Thoughts About Joining This Apocalyptic Death Cult
There's no one thing that's bugging me about the death cult; it just seems like every few days another annoyance breaches the surface, and they're starting to add up.
Tag: Regret
7 Situations in Which Never to Use a List-Based Format
The internet crushes at lists. But here are seven situations in which it would be, I'm afraid, downright inappropriate to use a list-based presentation format.
I Already Regret Receiving This Blowjob
Have you ever noticed how confident women are in their ability to give a man oral pleasure? Well ladies, sorry to say, but a lot of you are terrible at blowjobs.
Three Easy Ways to Amass Article Rejections on Points in Case
For you masochist freelance writers out there, which includes all of you, I offer advice that will ensure Points in Case (aka Court) never publishes your writing again.
What’s That Noise Outside? I Should Have Bought a Gun
I should have been a gun guy, or even a gunsmith. I could have made hundreds of them and stored them all over my house. Why did I become an accountant?
Two Years of Guilty Pleasures and Questionable Decisions
I should probably tell the biggest news of all: I am SO totally over any and everything Twilight-related. I'm also a Taylor Swifter and new home- and dog-owner.
When You Regret 95% of Everything You Have Ever Said
I don’t know why I'm so plagued by regrets from my vocal history. It seems dreadfully unfair, and I'm not sure what I've done to deserve these demons.
Help, Babies are Stealing My Friends!
One day soon you will wake up and all of your friends will have babies. And you will think, "But we haven't gone to New Zealand or the Playboy Mansion Party yet!"
6 Historical Bans That Would Be Ridiculed Today
History has its share of weird bans that simply wouldn't have many supporters today, including bans on chess, coffee, tattoos, and Christmas.
My Week with Carolyn
We stay at a hotel on the outskirts of Tokyo. Carolyn complains about the meerkat infestation because they're not indigenous to this part of Tokyo. Oh Carolyn.
7 Reasons Why Babies are the Worst (from a Mom)
Even though I gave birth to this thing, I still very much dislike babies. Before you consider littering this world with your awful spawn, here's why you'll regret it.
10 Literary Rejection Letters to Famous Dead Authors
Good thing great authors aren't alive today. Here are 10 rejection letters they likely would have received in our current, dismal literary market.