You signed a bill backing legislation to effectively control the uteruses (uteri?) of all Indianan women. That means all the women will go to neighboring Iowa now.
The first time I kissed Jake it was a bad idea. He was funny and nice , but kissing him led to the most painful word any girl could ever hear from a boy ever: "OUCH."
Even though I gave birth to this thing, I still very much dislike babies. Before you consider littering this world with your awful spawn, here's why you'll regret it.
I once finished out the second half of a soccer tournament in a stolen thong from Target. I'd never stolen anything in my life—anything with a price tag, that is.
I didn’t necessarily consider myself an adult when I walked onto that college campus, though I was far from a child. You could say I am a late bloomer.
Moms think they know everything, just because they pushed a creature out from between their thighs and stamped a name on it.
My biggest fear of fat camp was not getting a lunch, an occurrence that I had to witness daily at the Jillian Michaels' Center for Kids Who Eat Too Damn Much.
I've become quite an expert in the field of Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very, Very Bad Dates. Here's a list from my wonderful experiences to aid you all in this lovely world.
Because I think the spread of knowledge is integral to a growing and thriving human race, I have compiled a list of 50 things you should read that are not "50 Shades of Grey."
Despite my affinity for getting drunk and watching Perry Mason when I get off work, I get dumped, a lot. I date idiots, a lot. I have life lessons to share, too!
At the impasse between dirty-minded average Jane and impassioned wannabe Jedi master, I volley from one side to the other, desiring both yet never feeling content in either.
I have watched more made-for-TV movies revolving around domestic abuse, teenage pregnancies, extramarital affairs, and murderous jealous rampages than I care to admit.