We the Drunk Chick of the United States of America
We, the people, are the drunk chick at the bar. We are expected to do very little, except pick the politician who promises us the best stuff, and then get fucked by him later.
Tag: Observations
Questions I Have About the Two-Headed Teen(s) from Minnesota
How does dating work? Do they look for one guy they both find attractive, or two separate guys? What if one doesn’t find the other’s boyfriend attractive, can she object to sex?
Stop Being a Virgin
Don't be sucked in to a chastity cult that treasures their virginity. A virgin is a horrible, horrible thing to be. If you are a virgin, please stop being it.
A Brief Analysis of Stupidity
Since by my estimate the average person has the intelligence of salad dressing, it shouldn't be a shock to see people do stupid things. But it never fails.
No, I Will Not Eat at Applebee’s, Thank You
To me, Applebee’s represents the muddling down of all cultures, to create meals that cater to everyone, and in doing so satisfy no one.
Sarah Palin Makes Me Want to Lay Pipe in Alaska
To put it mildly, Sarah Palin makes me want to lay pipe in Alaska. And if she's not up for getting freaky the Washington way, let’s hope her pregnant daughter is.
Poetry to Feel Uncomfortable By
Cringe your face, roll your eyes and squirm in your seat to poems like "The Vomit Look," "Erection at a Funeral" and "Sorry I’m Late, There was Heavy Sex Traffic."
The Self-Checkout Movement
Relieve overburdened employees and join the growing volunteer program at grocery stores everywhere: the self-checkout line!
Cerebral Blue Balls
The American Dream isn't as far off as you think. Just stick to slothfulness and the unearned judgment of others - that’s our generation’s legacy.
Mommy, When I Grow Up I Want to be a Slut
In college, inner beauty clearly has as much use as a book on how to read, at least as far as getting laid goes. Enter the slut theory.
They Call Her Snow White Because She’s a Coke Slut
Since we were little, Disney has been shoving the "nice guy, true love" lie down our throats. But no more.
Total Crocs: Suze Orman, Other People’s Pets, and Old People
When it comes down to it, I am a heinous individual. Suze Orman, other people's pets, and old people on ego trips cannot be tolerated.