A Good Disease Sets the Record Straight
You are a physiological pacifist and believe in a body where booze and antibiotics can coexist. Alas, modern medicine disagrees, so you decide to stop drinking temporarily. A part of you died on that day.
Tag: Observations
Awesome, My Mom is on Facebook…
Friends, classmates, brothers and sisters in the human race, we are on the brink of a crisis: old people are starting to use Facebook!
Everyone Saw You Miss That Shot
We all stared as you crinkled up the piece of paper, walked across the room, and embarrassed yourself with that jumper. You could probably fit two regulation size basketballs in that trash can, but you still missed that shot.
The Craziest Girl in the World
Of all the stereotypically lame friends a girl has in her lame group of friends (examples include: shy friend, fat friend, ghetto Latina friend, overly masculine friend, and any combination thereof), no friend is more annoying than 'the crazy friend.'
Little Timmy Meets Mr. Government: A Bailout Lesson
With job loss, inflation, foreclosures and bankruptcy taking a toll on our country, people welcome any solution that may shore up the system. This has prompted my 7-year-old nephew, Timmy, to ask some questions and the government is here to answer.
The Beauty of the Smoke Circle
The time before the blunt is a quiet, calm period. We all sit in a circle and watch in hushed awe as the roller works silently. Finally, the blunt goes around the room. Puff, puff, pass; puff, puff, pass; like an Olympic track team flawlessly relaying t
Jesus Died for This Article
Christmas-themed articles usually fall into one of three categories: Santa's real, Santa's not real, or Jews suck. This year we're going for all three, if you can believe it.
If There’s Ever a Zombie Attack, It Will Start at Home Depot
If there is ever a zombie attack I think the staging ground or headquarters will be at a Home Depot. Just the other day I was told by a staff member doing his best impression of a deranged homeless person, randomly wandering around in a daze, that 'I don'
Thanksgiving Comedy Cornucopia
Four, short Thanksgiving comedy pieces from the PIC Staff on the spirit of giving by taking, a 9-year-old's account of Thanksgiving projectile vomiting, an American Thanksgiving in Canada, and fun facts on turkeys and Pilgrims.
24 Hours in the Life of a Neurotic Humor Writer
From 8am cereal to 4am sleeping pills, and every flopping dick, hot girl on a treadmill, and shaken beer in between, it's a minute by minute recap of a day in the life of observational humor on crack.
Starbucks’ Big Invention
The Starbucks 'Coffee Lid Sip Hole Plug Stopper Starbucks Lid': an ultra-clever little mass-produced piece of plastic designed to plug the tiny little two centimeter hole that you're SUPPOSED to drink your coffee from. Way to go, invention nerds.
I Will Demonstrate My Excitement at This Concert by Throwing Shit!
As the concert begins I will become much too over-stimulated for my own good. It is then that I will demonstrate my appreciation for the present moment by throwing shit. What kind of shit will I throw? All kinds of shit.