Which Cell Block of San Quentin Would You Be Assigned To?
What would you try to make your shiv out of? The sharpened end of a toothbrush, or the sharpened bones of a rat you found in your cell and then ate.
Tag: Lists
How to Tell Your Barista You Got a Keurig
Pull your wallet out when paying and flash your cute family photos. Have the last one be a photobooth selfie of you and your Keurig.
Valentine’s Day Date Ideas for You and Your Seasonal Affective Disorder
Treat your Valentine to a fancy restaurant just the way it likes: put off making a reservation as long as possible so all restaurants are booked!
The Management of the Lakeview Plaza 8-Plex Requests Your Feedback (And Apologizes in Advance for the Toenails)
On a scale of 1 to 10, what the hell are these spots on our seats? Cigarette burns? The management just had these seats reupholstered!
Last Minute Recipe Pitches from My First and Last Day on Our Food Site’s Social Video Team
Super simple baby carrot white bread casserole / Mocha eggplant cheesecake / Sweet salmon sausage scramblinies / Bok choy bread domes
Next-Gen Car Features for Generally Irritable Drivers
To keep you safe on long interstate drives, Mother's Gap Lane Assist simulates a choking gasp from your mother’s throat when you veer out of lane.
2020 Social Media Oscar Winners
Best Direct Message: Brent Stanko for 1:26am Christmas eve message to ex-girlfriend: “Saw you’re home, would love to reconnect!!”
Lullabies for the Anxious
Twinkle, twinkle little star, / How I wonder who I are. / I ain’t no saint, or rabbi, / But that don’t make me a bad guy.
Chinese Biophysics Researcher He Jiankui or God?
Most people aren’t comfortable with the genetic modification of life, but He isn’t bothered by what most people think. / He works in mysterious ways.
Things I Learned Watching the Impeachment Trial
The whole proceeding would benefit from Bachelor-style confessionals. “I don’t care if I was rude. Lindsey has been a bitch to me all day.”
17 Absurd Moments from State of the Union History That Make More Sense Than Anything You’ll Hear Tonight
1975 — Gerald Ford, cognizant of new requirements to look good on TV, overdoes his makeup and inadvertently wins an episode of RuPaul's Drag Race.
Trendy Uses for All Those First Date Red Flags You Ignored
Tapestry: That sure was a big red flag, folded up all nice, when he asked you to meet him in a sketchy part of town around 9pm for your first date.