Life | Page 7 | Points in Case

Tag: Life

Think something along the lines of “My oven is on!” or “I have a deadline to meet!” hold up your index finger in the air, and abruptly turn around.

In Hell, it’s always January, filled with dead Christmas trees and hungover souls bearing an extra fifteen post-holiday pounds.

Journal entries dissecting a previous relationship / Bad poetry / Concerns to share with doctor / Reminder to self to be more crafty

You and I both know what I’ve been up to, and it isn’t putting me on anyone’s good list.

Set aside your worries caused by modern nuisances such as technology, automobiles, and the invention of antiseptics.

The theme of my Bar Mitzvah is “Lying awake at night, your face slick with sweat, drowning in a pool of your own despair.”

8:15 AM: I get ready for my workday. I am dressed in a t-shirt that says “Open Letter To 'The Man': Eat Shit.”

You make me better. You make me ask the tough questions, like do I have rabies, and is the baby giraffe at the zoo mad at me?

No matter how many side pickles one has in their lifetime, each new side pickle feels like the first.

In March, you say goodbye to your family, friends, and old way of life. It’s time to prepare for a rough journey ahead.

I mean, if my life were a novel, this would be terrible writing. The reader would be flipping back, looking for pages they must have skipped.

Set your timer for 15 minutes and promptly CRY INTO A PILLOW AND LET THE TEARS OF FAILURE FLOW LIKE THE RIVER NILE.