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Through charismatic storytelling many began to follow us. We paid them nothing, but we did feed them.

Aren’t you tired of people mistaking you for a bird or a plane? With some higher education, they could recognize you as a local community leader.

No one cared about me. The main story suddenly became Hannibal's unique style of investigation and vague allusions to a troubled past.

This residency is fully funded and exists in an alternate universe where the words fully funded do not mean we give you funds.

The internet is one big lie. If you think someone’s telling the truth online, then you’re lying to yourself.

As you might expect, my dad is incredibly excited about this new chapter in his life. He’s been preparing for it for almost 50 years.

Personally ingratiate yourself to each and every search committee member. In your application, subtly but strongly imply that no favor is off-limits.

Can you show me examples of crimes against humanity the organization has been working on? Would I be able to represent ISIS at industry conferences?

If you want a salesman who spends all day practicing spitting into a spittoon so it makes a "ping" noise, I’m your guy.

Instead of buying a latte, deposit $5,000 in an IRA. Do that every single day and within less than a year you’ll have nearly a million dollars!

First Law of Freelancer Motion: A freelancer at rest will stay at rest unless that state is changed by an impending deadline.

Anyone know what jail Tommy is in? Maybe we could bring the reunion to him! Would be like the good ole days!