This movie is about me. But it’s also about love and family and loyalty and Christianity, but don’t say that last part out loud.
Does everyone have a string of rosary beads? It's very important to warm your muscles by lightly flagellating your body.
"When was the last time you worked?" Well, technically, as the Messiah, I am always working. But as a carpenter, I worked about three months ago.
While my MCAT scores were not the most competitive, I am a self-directed learner with strong communication skills and also I died for your sins.
"We are an open democracy and welcome 180-degree feedback circle." This is a weak start; we need a strong first point that will set the tone.
We Only Use Murphy’s Oil Soap to Clean These Church Pews So Get the Fuck Off My Nuts with Your All-Natural Homemade Cleaner
“Pine?” No. That’s not “pine,” bitch. That’s the smell of me frolicking through the forest with Jesus.
Held the top spot on The New York Times best seller list for 104,780 weeks before getting knocked off by Fifty Shades of Gray.
10:17 AM: I send Melissa a First Communion flashback, the time a piece of the wafer got caught in her throat and she had a panic attack in the pew.
$10 - I make old jeans fit again. I’m not supposed to allow this, but for $11 this may apply to booty shorts as well.
His dad is not here, but he says his dad is everywhere (denial?) / Continues to worry because he knows he's gonna die…. ok ok
Assassination of Abraham Lincoln - April 15, 1865: Play is cancelled and Lincoln lives through his second term, pursuing a new urban chic look.
Shaggy interrupts Jesus to say that he is just like him: he doesn’t have bones, but rather, Scooby Snacks shaped like bones.