Orientation for College-At-Home, According to Your Mom
Food Service: Breakfast is served from 6:12 AM to 6:18 AM. You’ll have a choice of bran flakes or bran toast.
Tag: Guides
This Halloween, Dress as an Old-Timey Person from 2019
Here’s a funky, vintage suggestion: you could wear pants that close with a button at the top, rather than with an elastic waistband.
Easy Cocktail Recipes for When All You Have Is a Bottle of Gin
Still Water Gin and Tonic: Just add 1 part gin to 2 parts tap water and serve chilled!
Other Companies Launching Streaming Platforms This Year
Yankee Candle's “Slow Burn” -- Put a Yankee Candle procedural on and let the stock characters and soothing storylines melt your stress away.
Socially-Conscious Activities for Gender Reveal Parties
Tear open an envelope. If you discover a dollar bill, you’re having a boy! If there’s only 81 cents inside, a girl is on her way!
Ground Rules for the Low-Stakes Time Machine
You can’t go back in time to kill Hitler, but you can go back to start your watercolor hobby earlier so you’d be at a more intermediate level now.
Coffee Mate Unveils 2020 Seasonal Flavors
Minty Mask: A light treat with undernotes of chemically treated paper, this is sure to be a crowd pleaser (socially distanced, natch).
The CDC’s Updated Guidelines for Seven Minutes in Heaven
You will be scrubbed down and sterilized before entering the house. It will be painful, but it is the only way to ensure a clean pre-teen.
Backstories for the Stuffed Animals in Simulated Baseball Audience
Googly-eyed octopus behind catcher’s mound: Campaign manager for a commemorative Beanie Baby with a nascent political streak.
5 Running Shoes That Won’t Help Me Escape the Reality That My Wife Is Having an Affair with David Attenborough
Unfortunately, even if I found the perfect pair of running shoes and I was the fastest man in the world, I wouldn’t be able to outrun the truth.
Nextdoor Posts in Stephen King Novels
Whoever is driving around a 1958 Plymouth Fury and running people over, you are being very RUDE! It is LATE!
Michael Moore Documentaries of the Future
"Bowling for New Columbine (U.S. Moon Settlement C-97)": A look at how gun manufacturers played a pivotal role in early space colonization.