Rules for Enjoying Edith Peckhurst Memorial Park
Use of this park is at your own risk. Such risk will not be assessed, even though this neighborhood has the highest population of actuaries in the city.
Tag: Guides
Christmas Songs Detailing the Sordid Saga of Santa’s Elfskin Boots
(Hark! The Herald Angels Sing) Hush! Santa will hear our plotting, He’s gone mad, brain is rotting. We should organize a coup, Before he makes new boots from you.
How to Wrap Your Gifts to Make It Look Like You Spent Time Thinking of What to Buy
Strategic Rips and Tears in the Packaging: Claim that the present must have gotten damaged in transit due to it being shipped from a far-away exotic place, like Hartford.
Hallmark Holiday Movies Rejected for Being Too California
This is where she bumps into rakishly handsome high school sweetheart Rattlesnake, whose cannabis farm has fallen on hard times.
Gifts from a Childhood Friend That Hint at Long Simmering Resentments
A hammock. Hanna, you know a hammock is a death trap because you laughed hysterically when I fell out of one in 7th grade at Trevor’s birthday party.
How to Construct Your Top 10 List of Books You Read This Year
4. Classic from the literary canon that you just happened to casually reread recently. Because, everyone knows, you were an English major.
Decor Themes to Elevate Your Airbnb
Make entering your Airbnb a confrontational experience. Rude, even.
New Rules to Turn Our Annual Whamageddon Game Up a Notch This Year!
If you hear Wham!’s “Last Christmas” at Trader Joe’s, stop shopping immediately and guzzle a 32 oz. carton of eggnog. Post #Whamanogageddon!
7 Winter Recipes That Aren’t French Onion Soup
German Shallot Stew: Wait… this is a little too similar to French Onion Soup. No worries. We’ve got plenty more recipes!
Latest Demands in the Ongoing Hostage Negotiations Between You and Your Toddler
Bath time shall last a minimum of three hours or until I’ve shriveled to one-half my natural size. ABSOLUTELY NO HAIR WASHING.
Seven Pieces of Art I Purchased for Our Hotel That Resulted in Long Emails from My Boss
My boss said guests don’t want to see “gray smudges” while enjoying their complimentary light breakfast. I said they would once they read the essay I left by the bagel station.
Choose Your Own Adventure: Holiday Uncle Edition
Conspiracy Theorist Uncle: You’re the King of “doing your own research,” so you don’t have time to throw the ball around with your nephews.