Kevin H.

We hired Pennywise under the assumption that he performed magic in addition to being a clown. Big mistake. The closest he ever got to doing any magic was telling the kids they were all going to float, but he didn’t make anyone or anything levitate. What a letdown.

Mike D.

P.U., this clown stunk! Literally, he smelled like he crawled out of a sewer.

Cindy S.

Our daughter wanted a Frozen-themed birthday party. When we tried booking we were told that there weren’t any Frozen characters available. Not even King Runeard. Out of desperation, we hired Pennywise. Unfortunately, we forgot that our daughter suffers from coulrophobia. It turns out that most of her friends are also afraid of clowns. It was quite the scene. The weirdest part was that Pennywise, who just stood there with his chin down and eyes up, seemed to enjoy feeding off of their horrified reactions.

Mollie P.

This clown was unbelievably rude. He told our son, who is struggling with his weight, “Kiss me fat boy!” We told him he could kiss his payment goodbye. We’re not down to clown with fat shaming.

Melissa W.

Pennywise ruined my son’s birthday! His website featured pictures of elaborate balloon animals, but he didn’t make a single one. Even worse, Pennywise had said that he was going to provide a “Circus-style lunch” with: peanuts, cotton candy, hot dogs, and popcorn, but he didn’t serve any food. All of the guests got hangry and threw tantrums.

Kali Y.

All he did was a weird impersonation of a car? He kept chasing the kids around and saying, “Beep beep!” Definitely requesting a refund.

Isabel B.

I hired Pennywise to do face painting at my daughter’s birthday. All of the kids were super excited to make requests, but the only design Pennywise can do is “simple cat.” Every kid got the same cat ears, nose, and whiskers. However, he still took requests, so, everyone thought they were getting what they wanted. When he was done with the cat design, he held up a mirror with a big flourish, saying, “Ta-da!” Tears of disappointment ran from every child’s face.

Andrew E.

Book in advance! This clown must be really popular because we tried to hire him, but he didn’t have any availability until 27 years from now.

Brian M.

Our son wanted a Batman-themed party and through some disastrous mix-up, we got Pennywise instead of the Joker. He was the worst Joker ever! We weren’t expecting a Jack Nicholson, Heath Ledger, or Joaquin Phoenix level of performance, but what we got was even more disappointing than Jared Leto.

Brittni L.

We hired him because of his official name “Pennywise the Dancing Clown,” but he didn’t really dance much. At one point he did a weird little shuffling jig, but that was it. Very disappointing.

Bob Gray

Pennywise did an amazing job at my child’s birthday party. I would highly recommend hiring Pennywise for your child’s next celebration. When you hire Pennywise, you don’t just get a clown, you also get: the Wolfman, the Mummy, a monstrous giant spider, and a spectacular “deadlights” show! Mention this review and get 5% off your booking.

Marla V.

This clown was creepy and should not be entertaining children. When we served the cake he said he was saving room for “Tasty, tasty, beautiful fear.”

Felix G.

My partner and I saw Cirque Du Soleil in Vegas and absolutely loved it. We thought it would be fun to hire Pennywise for a Circus-style cocktail party. Don’t make the same mistake we did! Pennywise isn’t fit to perform under the big top, let alone at a cocktail party. The strangest part was that he had an aggressive drooling problem. One of our guests fell and bruised her hip after slipping in his saliva. I spent the rest of the night following him with a ShamWow to prevent puddles from forming.

Henry Bowers

Every once in a blue moon the world produces a one-of-a-kind entertainer. Someone with an indescribable “it” factor. If you want a clown that embodies that special “it,” hire Pennywise.

Kyle R.

I work for a company that hired Pennywise to do some corporate team-building. He took one look at the audience and called us “The Losers’ Club.” His whole program was basically 2 hours of trust fall exercises. He said he wanted us to bond with our coworkers, but not to the point that we would swear a life-long blood oath to protect each other from a monster. Bizarre, but not the worst corporate development I’ve endured.

Stephen K.

If you’re really trying to scare the kids and want a mix of a creepy Ronald McDonald and Bozo the Clown, I would recommend hiring Pennywise.

Derek T.

My friends and I thought we’d hired the punk rock band Pennywise, but accidentally booked this clown. Do your research, folks.

Pam M, president of the World Clown Association

This so-called clown is a disgrace. He is single-handedly responsible for besmirching the reputation of every hardworking clown trying to make an honest living.

Hannah N.

The kids, you know how rambunctious they can be at birthday parties, started playing a game of “kill the evil clown.” Pennywise didn’t seem to mind and played along willingly enough. Until one of the kids hit him with a slingshot. That soured his mood and he disappeared shortly after.