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Tag: England
List: What I Imagine Being an English Butler is Like
My creative outlet is composing letters to my imaginary wife since I have implicitly sworn a life of celibacy even though I didn't know I had to.
Highlights From Squanto’s Plymouth Colony Twitter Feed
“What’s the deal with @Massasoit contradicting himself everytime he mentions me in a tweet or talks to the press?”
The UK’s Secret Plans for a No-Deal Brexit
If the pound plummets to junk status, Great Britain will return to the barter system. Price will be decided according to value in livestock.
Derry, Maine Real Estate Listings
I know what you're thinking: “A whole mansion for just $150! What a deal! I wonder if the low price has anything to do with that horrifying clown!”
11 Reasons Why I Survived the Titanic Disaster
If I had made it through the dramatic events of that April night, I would have died anyway since the last Titanic survivor passed away in 2009.
Actual Episodes of PBS’s “Frontline” but with More Interesting Plots
"Plunder!" (1990) Everything you've ever wanted to see plundered is plundered big time on this episode.
My Ex-Wife Married The Prince of England
Ok, ciao, diary. I bet Prince-Whatever-The-Fuck-His-Name, with his funny little Prince accent doesn't even know about “ciao.” That’s Hollywood, baby.
5 Surefire Ways to Get Elton John to Come to Your Open-Casket Funeral
Write “Elton” on your left hand and “John” on your right hand, zoom in, and make it look like Elton John himself is removing your space helmet.
After Watching One Episode of “The Great British Baking Show,” I’m Ready to Judge the Break Room Bakes
Janet, your Rice Krispie Treats are a bit basic if I'm being honest. Still, it's a delightful biscuit that everyone in accounting should be proud of.
If Countries were Contestants on Last Comic Standing
Italy: "I just called Comcast and asked if there's an extra charge for Rome-ing? ...Hello? What are you? An audience or a Michelangelo painting?"
Alien Abduction or Dentist Appointment?
Dissect this actual transcript between psychologist and patient under hypnosis and decide whether it's an alien probing or a dental cleaning.