Oh, the Hoodies I’ve Found
1. Sept 5, 2000 - The Band One / Identifying Marks: Your HS boyfriend’s crappy ska band logo. / Acquired From: Back seat of said boyfriend’s POS car.
1. Sept 5, 2000 - The Band One / Identifying Marks: Your HS boyfriend’s crappy ska band logo. / Acquired From: Back seat of said boyfriend’s POS car.
1. August 8, 1996 - The Maroon One / Identifying Marks: Band logo on the front. / Missing From: Back seat of your POS first car.
Hannibal Buress: You learned what feminism is from "Broad City," and you’re not 100% on board with it yet.
The couple described the aesthetic of the reception venue as farmhouse chic. Notably, the bridesmaids were dressed as mason jars.
No, I am not studying genetic science in order to determine whether I can safely hook up with any of my 5th or 6th cousins! Geez.
I celebrate their beauty and empower their right to feel sexy. But no matter how nice I am to sharks, they still refuse to let me be their boyfriend.
Uber: For Speed Dating - Sit up front because "you get carsick." Ask the driver if they have any siblings. If they ask you back, you’re in.
How is that standard any different from "has a job?" Spoiler alert: it's not!
This fusion spot is known for its pan-seared foie gras with mustard seeds and green onions. But that sounds gross, we want chicken fingers!
I don’t fix my issues, but I hide them under a thin sheet of functionality that I quickly whip off with the flair of a flamboyant Las Vegas magician.
He spent your entire relationship lying and promising things that never came; he’ll fit right in amongst our nation's political leadership.
Where are all the people who keep saying you look like Dr. Evil? Who cares! You have to survive a -40 degree blizzard by finding a cave to sleep in!