San Francisco

Sarah is an aspiring retiree based in San Francisco, CA. Playing the violin, competitive swimming, and coin collecting are all things she has decided not to pursue.

Comedy Writing

it's a date!!

Week 8 of the 2019 Dating Season

Heather vs Joe: These singles are set to meet on Thursday to open Week 8 and it’s expected to be a close one, as they both have a fondness for PDA.

Jokes

Sometimes I like to give myself pump up talks on Sunday nights as a reminder that the only thing I can control is not bringing a positive attitude to work.

— Sarah Hass,

Sometimes when I move the space heater from the living room to the bedroom, knowing I’ll have to move it back to the living room in the morning, I think, “WILL I JUST HAVE TO KEEP MOVING THIS BACK AND FORTH UNTIL I DIE?”

— Sarah Hass,

People describe getting hair extensions like you’d describe getting your period to a fourth grader: “You can still do all the same things! Swim, take a bath, even go for a run!”

— Sarah Hass,

I’m not the type of crazy ex to key your car or anything, I’m the type of crazy ex who has taken a virtual Zillow tour of the home you bought with your new girlfriend and knows where you sleep. I’m doing fine though.

— Sarah Hass,
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