8 Christmas Gift Ideas for the Patriarchy in Your Life
Yoo hoo, ladies! Wondering what to get that special patriarchy in your life that already has everything? The answer is… more of everything!
Tag: Christmas
A Thorough Deconstruction of the Absurdity of the Three Wise Men Story
The maji hoped Jesus would grow up and use the frankincense and myrrh to develop a proprietary blend for His signature cologne, using His omniscient business acumen.
We Wish You an Annoying Chistmas
This year I thought I'd pick apart the song that encourages underage drinking, extortion, blackmail and murder: "We Wish You a Merry Christmas."
Christmas Card Brag Letter from the Millers
Another year has passed and the extended Miller family has been blessed with good fortune, good friends, and good lawyers who kept our youngest out of jail.
Reindeer Farts are Melting the North Pole (And Other Intimate Confessions from Santa)
150 years of the expectation of delivering gifts to billions of children every year has turned Santa into a dick. Here's what he confessed to me.
The Atheist Club’s First Annual Christmas-Themed Christmas Party
Past Christmas parties by the house church had themes such as "Dinner" and "Watching Netflix," but this year the theme is... *drumroll* "Christmas"!
Do They Know It’s Christmas on the Moon?
Everyone knows this song helped eradicate hunger in Africa, which is why there are no hungry people there now, but did you know it also cures Ebola... and intelligence?!
How Christmas Provoked My Dad’s First F Word in Front of Us
My dad cashed his F word chip in around my brothers and me with a salty, heartfelt "MOTHER FUCKER." All because he didn't know how to use a handsaw.
The Joy of Santa Casey
"I know it is Christmas Eve, but you would be going to kindergarten dressed as Santa Claus," my boss Sunny said. I accepted in an instant, and never regretted it.
Santa Baby, I’m a Materialistic Whore
What we've got here is Madonna, singing in a little girl voice to what could only be construed as her dad, dressed up as Santa. Or in other words, "GROSS, DUDE."
Staying at Home with Kevin: A Korean Christmas Tradition
Have a very merry Home Alone Christmas in Korea.
The Illicit Meaning Behind the Lyrics to “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”
It's time to overanalyze another Christmas song that you'll NEVER EVER be able to hear again without your mind going to a very dark place.