I Won My Office’s March Madness Bracket in 2019, and with These Tricks, You Can Too
Pick teams with orange as one of their colors. Orange doesn’t rhyme with anything, and neither does victory.
Tag: Basketball
A Sweet Sixteen of Things More Likely to Happen to You Than Picking a Perfect March Madness Bracket
Your next tweet will go viral, attracting the attention of your biggest celebrity crush and leading to a passionate affair. (1 in 40.3 billion)
The Last Beacon of Basketball Purity: Middle School Asthmatic Boys
They don't even have numbers on their uniforms. They just have plain, ill-fitting husky tees donated by the Knights of Columbus.
Why I Went to Greg Johnson’s 8th Birthday Party Instead of Going to See Michael Jordan and the 1996 Chicago Bulls
The party was going to have two different kinds of ice cream cake. / I had serious concerns whether Dennis Rodman was going to be a good roster fit.
Episode Guide to “Stockton and Malone: The Last Jazz Session”
Episode 4 – Karl Malone discovers the 3rd person POV literary device and begins using it in interviews. Stockton reinvigorates his Catholicism.
Schedule of Classes at Overdone Fitness
We offer absolutely no supervision to inhibit your individualized sense of what’s proper and safe technique. Weights will be scattered about.
What We Used to Call Him
We used to call him Champ, because he led the basketball team to the championships. Then we called him Let Down, because he missed the winning shot.
I Am the Old Man on the Stationary Bike at the Gym, and I Am Here to Fucking Crush It
I am simply part of the gym’s existence, like the water fountain and the ambient hip-hop music piped in through invisible speakers.
To Thank LeBron James for His Brave Defense of China, We Will Be Forcing All of Our Political Prisoners to Watch “Space Jam 2”
I only hope that our political prisoners will love the movie as much as LeBron loves the money he'll get from it.
A Referee Job Description, Written by the Coach Whose Team Lost the Youth Basketball Championship
This is a flexible position, in that you can decide when you are going to do any damn work even though you’re getting paid for it.
Ranking 2019’s Top Ten NBA Free Agent Signings
Season Three of Stranger Things, Chicago Bulls: The Bulls pride themselves on giving fans the best entertainment money can buy.
Illness-Related Feats I Accomplished at Work That Are Equivalent or Better Than Michael Jordan’s Flu Game
How about some credit for processing all invoices while my boss lectured me on "eating too many microwaved oyster and pastrami sandwiches at work"?