Softees: Five Reasons Americans are About as Hard as Pudding
People have found so many things to cry about that one can only wonder: what happened to our backbones? Americans used to be tough, now we're straight jelly.
People have found so many things to cry about that one can only wonder: what happened to our backbones? Americans used to be tough, now we're straight jelly.
Canada's main exports are wind, geese who shit constantly but only on golf courses, and overly-polite white people. Their main imports are American tourist gamblers.
The world is nowhere near as bad as everyone says it is. It can't be, otherwise we would all have exploded by now. Here's a bunch of awesome shit happening.
Please check the appropriate box below, so that we, The United States Government, know why you chose to vote in the most recent election last Tuesday.
50 tweets highlighting the most ridiculous aspects of American culture. Click on any of them to retweet. Know that you did something funny for your country.
Tim Cook, in taking over for Steve Jobs as CEO of Apple, the most successful company on Earth, reveals a startling revelation about what would have happened had we defaulted on our national debt.
It's well known that FBI director J. Edgar Hoover was a flaming, cross-dressing closet queen with an obsession for large male appendages. Here's the rest of Hoover's strange story.
Remember the Marines commercial with that asshole climbing mountains and shit, fighting dragons with a sword? Well that's a bunch of horse shit. Here's a look at the 'real' Marines.
Florida has provided the world with jerk-off sports teams, early bird specials, hurricanes, and plenty of illegal Cubans. Unfortunately, the adult film "Hung Chad" was never made.
I'm a halfie: my mother is Cuban and my father is American. I'm not brown, I'm not white… I'm fucking khaki. And it sucks. Here's why.
I feel the need to dispel the misconceptions about the theme of what was once my favorite John Denver song and currently the state that I call home. Please enjoy a basic history of the great state of West Virginia.
American youths are steadily being eroded into douchebags, techno-geeks, and new age hippies. Here are the worst things chipping away at the next generation.