Just Caught My Son Crandley YouTubing BMX on a School Night
Some nights I lie awake, wondering, is my son a nancy ass? Now, I fear the worst?: that he harbors dreams of a future in social work.
Tag: America
PRESS RELEASE: Kellyanne Conway Clears Up the Question of the Michael Flynn/Russia Controversy
If the Mike Flynn Russia call did not take place in our Presidents sense of reality, either there is no issue as this is the only reality that now matters or it is not.
I’m Totally Against Abortion, Except in Cases of Ugly Women
We all know abortion is wrong. Bad. But sometimes the mother is so disgusting and fat from being pregnant, we really don't want that baby.
5 Helpful Tips for Living in a Banana Republic
Many Americans are nervous that Donald Trump is violating long-held democratic norms. Here's how to navigate the ins and outs of your new, failed state.
Jesus is an American and I Won’t Hear Otherwise
I will dispel the pseudo-socialist notion that the Messiah is from the same place as Wilmer Valderrama by shout-typing my evidence in your face.
The Library of Congress’ 2017 Selections for the National Film Registry
Today, the Library of Congress is proud to announce this year’s list of eight films to be added to the National Film Registry.
How the Vikings Squandered America
Thor, Thorvald, Thorrson, Thorfinn and crew had the New World in their grasp, save for one crucial mistake.
Liberals: They’re Just Like Us!
Seven ways our left-wing fellow citizens aren't that different from you or me, the Trump-supporting majority.
Welcome to the MFAGZ Federation®, Formerly the USA
If you have not done so already, please upload all personal information onto the Privacy Pads® you will have received en route.
To-Do List 2017: Apocalypse Won
Choose robot companion for president, as you inevitably prefer living in a blinged up White House adorned with gold droplets of dried Mexican tears.
Trump University Announces Six New Courses for 2017
In "PS 102 - The New Racism" we'll show you how to dismiss any challenge to your racist views—no matter how valid—as liberal "political correctness" run amok.
The Only Thing We Have to Fear is Fear Itself—And Everything Else
What would be the countless ripples born by an administration that insists that the only thing to fear is not fear itself, but the consequences of hope?