Transcript of Zeus’s Personal Rebranding Meeting to Address Bestiality Concerns
"We want to create a more human Zeus. Relatable, powerful, and, most importantly, someone your worshippers can imagine sleeping with."
Tag: Advertising
How to Troubleshoot a Sump Pump, Sponsored by Marque de Mode Luxury Handbags
Flooded basement? Fashion purveyors Marque de Mode have you covered with some simple tips to get your basement dryer than a martini at Café Montague.
Six Ways to Get Jacked, Sponsored by Dunkin’ Donuts Energy Punch
Dunkin' Donuts Energy Punch mixes the sugar and caffeine of a can of Monster Energy with the additional sugar of Coolata syrup. Talk about a jolt!
How Kleenex Developed Its Most Extreme Tissue: Chipotle Explosion
Your regular tissue box might wet your grandma's panties, but that cardboard facade couldn't begin to contain the Chipotle Explosion, our most intense tissue ever.
We’re Not a Regular Startup, We’re a FUN Startup
Are you trying to avoid waiting tables or working with children at all costs? Can you feign sufficient interest in digital advertising? Then read on for ArrowTek's openings!
This Self-Driving Car Does Not Need Humans
"cAr™ doesn't seat humans." This has always been front-and-center in the cAr™ design philosophy. Try it for only $1,695 a month and $70,995 for the basic cAr™.
Ultimate Dog®: Male Dog Enhancement to Get Those Bitches Howling!
ATTENTION BREEDERS! Ultimate Dog® can make ANY Dog a Horn Dog! Whether it’s a Lazy Bloodhound, or a Gay Chihuahua, your pedigree will be looking for pussy in no time flat!
The Six Stages of Life According to the AARP Mail You’re Currently Receiving
Whatever fancy stuff you’ve been told about the progression of aging, is in reality too complicated. The real lies in your AARP mail.
The Scourge of Sponsored Content (Brought to You By Snickers)
Honest, informative, unfettered journalism has been mutilated beyond recognition by a money-grubbing truth-assassin known as “sponsored content.”
An Honest Spotify Commercial Interlude
$9.99 a month for practically infinite music at your fingertips is a luxury YOU JUST CAN'T AFFORD. Now, tell me, what do you really see in so much Pitbull?