When It Comes to Waiting, I’m a Natural
I never look to see if the bus or train is coming. I never push the button more than once on elevators or at crosswalks.
I never look to see if the bus or train is coming. I never push the button more than once on elevators or at crosswalks.
RULE 22.0: Imagine for a moment a model train set circling without purpose—you’re the little plastic conductor.
Now that you’ve sufficiently tortured your sweet angel for the past hour, make him watch as you make your own macaroni artwork.
I’m sorry I climbed a utility pole outside during halftime to hang a handmade flag with my team’s logo.
9:07 PM: You wonder if you were actually the one who made the comment about the band name and have been replaced by an Adam Levine. You’re not sure.
"You fielded eighteen promposals before February. That's a county record."
These events are particularly disturbing given that we do not know Gritty's political party, nor is he a resident of the state of Texas.
There's no catch, except that I'm going to be making sure you check each and every one of those little "D" boxes on your ballot, you hetero freaks.
If your friend's team was the one that eliminated your team, tell them they can see you at your funeral.
Luckily, the staff at the White House told us that things actually run a lot better when he’s not around, so they’ve agreed to lend him to us for the next few years.