1. Started out in books, but has since crossed over into pretty much everything.
  2. Is headquartered in a giant, guarded building that even protestors with pitchforks can’t break into.
  3. Has made a killing off some very unethical, bloodsucking work practices.
  4. Exhibits obsessive, stalkerish behavior and is pretty much inescapable once you become a target.
  5. Knows everything about you—your deepest desires, the inner workings of your soul, and how many toilet paper rolls you bought online during the Great Toilet Paper Panic of 2020.
  6. Raves about things you absolutely don’t need in your life, like mist makers, blood vials, and very dramatic capes.
  7. Wants you to join a loyalty program in return for some out-of-this-world, life-changing benefits.
  8. Can easily put you in a trance.
  9. Executes with remarkable speed.
  10. Thrives after draining you out.
  11. Works overnight.
  12. Travels by both ground and air.
  13. Is a huge hit on Halloween.
  14. Kills it in the breakfast cereal business.
  15. Ravages the planet in pursuit of fulfillment.

1-15: Dracula
1-15: Amazon