New Year's Resolutions Jokes

Top 10 funny things about New Year's resolutions:

  1. Masturbating twice a day doesn't count as more exercise: Symposium on Fitness
  2. Saying you will shower daily isn't a resolution, it's a responsibility to your roommate: Social Experiments, The Nate Way
  3. Resolving to argue more doesn't resolve anything: How to Argue With Females
  4. I resolve to make better jokes after that last one: Mind Your Own Jokes
  5. I hear Tom Cruise resolved to not be a tool: Unearthing Scientology
  6. It's a good idea to try and get your girlfriend to resolve to have more sex with you: Tonight, I Will Sex You
  7. It's a bad idea to try and get your girlfriend to resolve to have more sex without you: Relationship Cheat Sheet
  8. Resolutions aren't all broken – O.J. resolved not to get into anymore trouble with the law in 2008… oh, nevermind: Black Rules for White Men
  9. Maybe you can convince Grandma to resolve to make more of her homemade cookies: Snoop Dogg Visits His Grandma
  10. Last I heard, George W Bush resolved to not mess up the country as president this year: Bush Re-Raises Four More Years; Terrorists All In
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