I'm sure by now you've heard of Samantha Brick, but if you haven't, she's the woman who has ignited several heated global debates with a single article titled: "There are downsides to looking this pretty": Why women hate me for being beautiful. In the article she basically has verbal diarrhea and says that women hate her because she is stunningly beautiful, while giving accounts of how men have lavished her with favors and attention her entire life. A large part of me, who is sympathetic to the plight of women in this patriarchal society, wants to applaud her confidence and tell her, "You go girl!" (There may or may not be hand snaps involved…I haven't decided yet.) However, admittedly, there is an even bigger part of me that wants to admonish her vanity and say, "You're a delusional, arrogant cunt and THAT is why women hate you!"

Samanthan Brick smiling
Samantha, I'm in disbelief over your teef.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm ALL FOR a strong confident woman who believes in herself and has a healthy sense of self-worth. Hell, I don't even mind if a woman shamelessly uses her physical appearance to get ahead in life. I mean, in this male dominated society, women have it bad enough and if they've got it, then they should definitely flaunt it to get ahead—and therein lies the controversy surrounding this woman. Samantha Brick hasn't "got it" as much as she has just gone completely mental regarding her own physical appearance. It's rather like she was actually hit in the head with a brick, given some of the delusions she's manifested about herself. She even went as far to say that if she was in a room, 100% of the men in that room would be attracted to her. Personally, as a man who generally isn't attracted to women who look like Casper the Friendly Ghost fucked a giraffe and had a love child, I find her extreme vanity and her narcissistic personality highly off putting.

Samantha Brick in the hay in France
Hay Samantha Brick, please get over yourself.

Surely some men certainly go for tall blonde muffin-topped women and would find Samantha Brick appealing, but seriously, to have the audacity to say ALL MEN would find her attractive borders on straight up internet trolling, which in fact is what I think she might actually be doing. It's like she's giddily staring into a funhouse mirror while exclaiming how amazing she looks, but the rest of us aren't sure if she knows the mirror doesn't reflect reality. In many ways it reminds me of all those nutters on American Idol who can't sing worth a shit, but stand there swearing up and down how amazing they are. This simply has to be some kind of a joke—but if somehow it's real then she's completely batshit crazy. If there is one thing I think we can ALL agree on though it is that batshit crazy people are fun to poke with a stick if only to watch what they'll do next. (Cue William Hung, "She bangs, she bangs!")

What I hope the world realizes from Samantha Brick's reincarnation of an 80's Pantene commercial "don't hate me because I'm beautiful" attitude, is that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Admittedly, that line is a VERY thin line to tread for anyone, as opposed to the lines of coke she's probably doing, but people still need to remember that being humble is ALWAYS the best route to take. If you aren't humble than no matter how much you think you're the shit, you'll just end up eating other people's shit instead. If you don't believe me, just ask Samantha Brick, who's currently eating more shit than a person who swan dived into the hole of a porta potty with their mouth open.

There is a small part of me that feels a little sorry for this woman, but just like those who waited hours in line to publicly embarrass themselves on American Idol, she most certainly brought this global backlash and ridicule on herself. If you're going to run around shouting from the rooftops how amazingly beautiful you are then you better be prepared for those who mercilessly point out your most hideous features. In this case, Samantha Brick, it isn't your pasty ghost-like complexion, your strangely paradoxical muffin-topped yet oddly gangly figure, your slight lisp-inducing crooked teef, or your post-chemotherapy-looking scraggly hair. No, love, I'm afraid your absolute UGLIEST feature is simply your personality. Good luck with that.

Samantha Brick sexy blonde
Anyone else think this is just a ploy to get some free Pantene Pro-V shampoo?