Hello fine reader. I'm watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show and am not good at introductions, so let's just get right to some observations.

There are Victoria's Secret commercials during the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Why would you do that? Why wouldn't you just cut back to the show 30 seconds earlier?

Katy Perry just took the stage. Usually I'd consider her at least reasonably attractive. Here she's like a beast among, well, lingerie models.

Akon's on stage—his suit is so shiny… it's mesmerizing. Also, it's the only thing to look at right now because there are now women. Where are the damn women? Who thought that Akon would be an acceptable substitute for scantily clad models?

This Citibank commercial that I loathe just came on—a jackass manages to get his hands on the impossible-to-find and thus incredibly valuable toy of the holiday season. He's planning to sell it and make a bucketload of money. For whatever reason Citi gives him $1000, so he gives the toy to charity. Why on Earth would you do that? I'll tell you what's going to happen with that toy, some destitute orphan is going to get it, but he's in one of America's awful orphanages, so a bully's going to steal it from him and lay a beating on him just to teach him a lesson about having nice things. Congrats, you selfish asshole, you essentially just beat up an orphan so you could feel good about yourself.

Adrian Grenier is sitting in the front row, unshaven and wearing a t-shirt. My roommates think he's being filmed for an episode of Entourage. I'd put my money on him just being drunk and not wanting to spend time getting dressed up because he was busy not giving a shit and thinking about which model he's gonna bang.

Katy's back out—this time her outfit features a giant white bowtie and some sort of black rubber diaper. I guess if you know she's not going to stack up to anyone else in the room, you just make her look ridiculous so no one makes the comparison? If I were her agent, I wouldn't have juxtaposed her with models. Also, if I were running this show, I wouldn't stop the flow of models to show Katy Perry.

Katy Perry onstage at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show with models

The finale is accompanied by Muse's song "Uprising." Nothing like watching women walk up and down the runway in their underwear with the line "They will stop degrading us" in the background.

I'll leave you with a question I just received from Aardvark (if you're not familiar, it's a service that you can IM questions to, and it sends them to people who might know the answer—similarly, it send you questions from other people):

From Matthew M./M/Encino, CA:
"What can i spend 500 dollars on as a teenager? LEGAL THINGS!"

Suggestions, anybody?

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