>>> Ask Nicole
By staff writer Nicole McKaig
July 14, 2004

 

Dear Nicole,

I had sex with this girl last week and she made me stop because I put on a condom. Why do you think this is?

-Gabe
 

Dear Gabe,

Can you really blame her? With that one thoughtless gesture, you crushed her girlhood dreams of beginning a lucrative career as a welfare mom.

People like you make me sick.

Sincerely,
Nicole

 

 
Dear Nicole,

I am currently a student at a state school in New York. My school has been known to be full of STDs and promiscuous women. My problem is that I have always looked down on guys that are players and I don't want to be one. I could have all the booty I want, but all I really want is a girlfriend. The problem with this is girls at this college don't want boyfriends, they just want to sleep around. What do I do?

-Brennon
 

Dear Brennon,

Oh, it's very simple. Just sit quietly in your room until you hear my female readers beating down your door.

Sincerely,
Nicole

 

 
Dear Nicole,

You are one sweet thing. Oops, that's not a question…Ok, well how do you feel about dating guys twice your age?

-Mike
 

Dear Mike,

Probably the same way you feel about dating women twice YOUR age. However, I'm willing to give “us” a shot, as long as I don't have to touch you. Or see you, or talk to you. And you have to sign over your social security check every month. Please forward them promptly. I have bills to pay, you know.

Sincerely,
Nicole

 

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