A candid account of the sexcapades and relationships of a college girl in search of Mr. Right, and her often humorous experiences with Mr. Right Now.

Column Archives | 2008, 2006, 2005

2010 – Present

View current archive (This column has moved)

January 2008

The College Life Cycle | 1-20-08
College can effectively be broken down into three phases: Freshman Fifteen, Your 21st Birthday, and Unemployment. Good luck with that.

Break's Over, Get Back to School | 1-13-08
Will the new semester bring better grades and more maturity, or more screw-ups and intensified alcoholism? The ball's in your court.


November 2006

You Know You're in College When… | 11-22-06
Between the deadlines, responsibilities, and fifteen Jell-O shots you took last night, sometimes it's hard to remember where you are.


October 2006

Always Come Clean on Strippers | 10-18-06
You thought your man fooled around with a slutty freshman, but it turns out he lied and went to a strip club. He owes you an apology.


September 2006

So You Farted in His Bed | 9-27-06
Looks like your boyfriend caught wind of your poor bedside manners. Now's probably a good time to blow hard on his weather vane.

Yeah, We Met Online | 9-20-06
Chances are, if you met your significant other in college, and marriage is out of the question, Facebook played a vital role in your courtship.

Relationship Cheat Sheet | 9-13-06
Every relationship has its boundaries, but where do you draw the line? Answer: In big letters on his forehead if he cheats on you.

What Makes Him Mr. Right… Now | 9-6-06
Some guys are worth the wait, others couldn't gain your interest if you were a bank holding their money. But you'll still take their deposits.


May 2006

How to Be a Cool Girlfriend | 5-17-06
There are only two types of girlfriends: cool ones and dumped ones. Guess which one gets to Dutch Oven the guy and laugh about it…

Are You Half of THAT Couple? | 5-3-06
Did you meet your significant other out of loneliness freshman year? Do you think it takes two halves to make a whole? Uh-oh, you're in for it.


April 2006

Single vs. Relationship: It's Complicated | 4-26-06
Both relationships and being single have ups and downs. Wake up your sex life, and hope you can live with yourself in the morning.

Five Reasons Why You Should Wait on Sex | 4-19-06
It's fucking hard to turn down sex, but sometimes it's better to wait…tables to pay the child support to your ex who you knocked up.


March 2006

I Know Why She Isn't Sleeping With You | 3-29-06
There could be many reasons why you're not getting any. You better find out before she slams the window of opportunity on your penis.

How to Get More Head | 3-15-06
When your romantic evening comes to a head, don't forget your manners; hair-pulling and face-fucking are enough to make her spit.

Internet Porn: The Good, the Bad, and the Fucked Up | 3-8-06
The world wide web of porn can be a sticky place. Watch your hands or you might get caught in a pop-up trap. Grandma, is that you?

8 Sex Acts Off-Limits with Your Girlfriend | 3-1-06
When it comes to hooking up, you have to play by the rules. Baby talk? Anal? If you're not careful, it's going to be your ass.


February 2006

Your Friday Night | 2-22-06
As week subsides to weekend, you struggle to find the money for food, fun, and a Brazilian…the wax not the guy. Well, either one really.

15 Excuses You Won't Be Needing | 2-1-06
Trying to convince your girlfriend it wasn't cheating because SHE kissed YOU? Save your breath. Plus 14 more lessons in futility.


January 2006

Baggage Claim | 1-18-06
Attention dating customers, please be advised that carrying on too much baggage from your ex can ruin the next relationship.


December 2005

How to Get Any Guy You Want | 12-21-05
Armed with a little background knowledge, confidence, and party strategy, winning over your latest infatuation isn't so hard after all.

The PDA Handbook | 12-7-05
Public displays of affection can be cute and innocent, but once a certain line is crossed, you better be on your way to Motel 6.


November 2005

25 Things You Should Know About Guys | 11-23-05
If you thought it was all about sports, sex and beer, you're sort of right. But there's a lot more you should know about the human male.

The Boundaries of Drunken Communication | 11-2-05
At some point, we've all regretted a drunk dial, a late-night IM, or a Facebook poke. But unless you set limits, things can
get out of hand.


October 2005

Winterize Your Love Life | 10-19-05
Important tips for turning up the heat as the temperature drops. If you think we're talking thermostat tricks, you REALLY need a boyfriend.


August 2005

The Walk of Shame – In Spain | 8-10-05
Cross the Atlantic, sleep with a random person, and then walk out the next morning into the REAL unknown. Same story, different challenges.

The Morning After | 8-3-05
Late night drunk decision making isn't always rational. Here's a few tips to prepare for the awkward morning wake-up in someone else's bed.


July 2005

How to Lady-Proof Your Room | 7-6-05
Guys take note: your room is a secret window into the life your girlfriend doesn't want to know you've led. Learn to protect yourself.


June 2005

Cheap Summer Thrills | 6-29-05
Summer vacation affords a lot of opportunities for crazy party activities…but it doesn't pay for them. Here's a few low-budget ideas.

Sifting Through the Euro-Trash | 6-22-05
Foreigners beware: Ali's in Spain and she knows what she wants. Bad dancers and American guys please, step aside.

What Happened to the Player? | 6-15-05
Chill out guys, when a girl is really into you, she'll let you know. Until then, give your incessant stalking and annoying neediness a break.

Unofficially Together at Last | 6-8-05
Ever wonder exactly where you stand (or lie) in a relationship? Here are the definitions of every major step from fuck buddy to boyfriend.


MORE LIKE THIS