I wanted to make this title as self-explanatory as possible because I think it shouldn't be taken lightly. I know this because I am a girl who has gone through a guy's shit before—in fact, I've gone through many guys' shit. And because I have done this, and learned the hard way not to, I also understand that most of you probably won't listen to me and you're going to go dumpster diving through your boyfriend's text messages and emails just like the many women before you. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame you for this, I blame men like Tiger Woods and Elliot Spitzer. However, that still doesn't remove the blame that can be placed on you for being equally as untrustworthy by impinging on his personal space.

Girl going through her boyfriend's phone for cheating texts
Some things are better left between your boyfriend and his ex.
That said, there are two components that make up the whole "going through your significant other's personal shit" debacle and those are how trustworthy you are and how trustworthy your man is. If you go around dating dudes who don't want to commit to you—dare I say "players"—then chances are if you go through their stuff, you will find something you don't like, and you will most likely be right in getting absolutely shit-rocking upset by it. However, you probably should have seen it coming, and if you didn't, here's your heads up. You've also now given them an out for their bad behavior through your own bad behavior, essentially putting yourself in a no-win situation.

Think about how your personal communication could be misinterpreted and then apply that to how you could view his.On the other hand, the truth of the matter is, you could be dating the most thoughtful man on the planet, who wouldn't even look at another woman, nevermind send sketchy texts or emails to her, and you will still find shit you don't like. The only way you aren't going to find something that doesn't upset you in one way or another is if you abstain from looking for it altogether.

Insecurity is something that can easily get the best of you; it has most certainly gotten the best of me, so getting to a point where you are self-assured and confident enough will not only (hopefully) keep you from looking for trouble, but it will essentially lessen the potential of that "trouble" even happening, because guys are attracted to confidence and as a result will be less likely to stray. Making assumptions is another mood killer and can easily put a crack in the walls of your bond. If you're going through someone's stuff, you're automatically showing a distrust in that person, so you may be more likely to jump to a bad conclusion from a text or email that could be interpreted in multiple ways. For example, say you're scrolling through his texts and you see one from Crystal that says, "meet you at the movies in 10." It wouldn't be totally off-base to assume that Crystal is some skank that he's cheating on you with (if not for her name alone), but Crystal could just as easily be his sister, or cousin, or another equally non-threatening third party.

It also doesn't hurt to keep in mind your own texts and emails and how your man could respond if he got his hands on them. Think about how your personal communication could be misinterpreted and then apply that to how you could view his. And, at the end of the day, if you can't put his cell phone down, it might be time to call it quits and find a guy you can trust. Believe it or not, they are out there, so it's not worth your time becoming just another notch on some dude's belt.

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