I'm sure most of you have been following the NCAA basketball tournament. If not Dan will catch you up to speed. You probably have heard about the other tournament from female sports writers and broadcasters. Since the men's tourney has gotten plenty of coverage on PIC I've decided to take a look at what's going on with the ladies. I'll be the first to tell that you haven't missed much.
These female reporters keep calling for the women to get equal attention from the press and the fans. Well, you bitches, that isn't going to happen and I'll tell you why. First, there was only one, ONE first round game that was decided by 3 points or less. Hell, Tennessee beat Army by 48. Duke won by 69! How is that exciting. I would rather sit and watch sumo wrestlers in a circle jerk. These games don't stop being a yawnfest untill the final four starts, and even then the sumo circle jerk sounds appealing.
The biggest story is that a girl “dunked” twice in a game (picture included in the link). Notice I put dunk in quotation marks because what she did was not a dunk. She merely rolled the ball over the rim and then pulled down on it as the ball rattled around. If that is considered a dunk then my intramural basketball team is the most athletic team in history with all the “dunking” we do during warm ups. I mean calling that a “dunk” is like calling dry humping sex. You can say you had sex but if anyone saw you would completely disagree and then laugh at your pathetic effort.
I'm not expecting a high flying, Vince Carter type dunk. Just one that actually involves throwing the ball down instead of flipping it up then grabbing the rim. So, calm down America.
Now my favorite part of the Women's basketball tournament. The All Boner Team. This year I'm picking the 10 hottest players still in the tournament. Keep in mind that this is a women's basketball tournament and they will not be supermodels.
Debbie Merrill F/C Ohio State
Heidi Carlsen G Utah
Kristen Kovesdy F Arizona State
Rachel Majewski G New Mexico
Maggie Dwyer G Michigan State
Ann Strother G/F Connecticut
Lindsey Moss G Tennessee
Dana Idlet C Tulsa
RyAnne Ridge G/F Tulsa
Ambrosia Anderson F BYU
Coach: Brenda Frese Maryland