"If upon the initial attempt you are ineffectual; attempt, attempt, attempt furthermore."

"When existence administers yellowish, acid fruits of a subtropical citrus tree, produce a refreshing beverage by combining the fruit with water and a sweetener."

"An overabundance of culinary practicioners in a room equipped for cooking will deplore the thin soup of concentrated meat or fish stock."

"If you are unable to withstand the calefaction, evacuate the room equipped for cooking."

"Exterminate two avian creatures with one formed chunk of mineral matter."

"Do not propel formed chunks of mineral matter if you reside in an abode solely comprised of a hard, brittle, noncrystalline substance produced by fusion, usually consisting of mutally dissolved silica and silicates that also contain soda and lime."

"A spherical chunk of mineral matter traveling in a perpetual state of rotation along the ground will fail to collect flowerless plants of the class Musci."

"The Roman Empire was not constructed within the parameters of one Earth rotation."

"Avoid tabulating flightless birds while they are still incubating."

"Where there is a visible vapor of suspended carbon particles, there is oxygen-fueled combustion taking place."

Join upcoming November classes in Satire Writing, Sketch Writing, and Stand-Up Joke Writing.