Every time I meet that tattooed girl who steals my heart and causes all the blood in my body to rush to my penis, I know I won't be hooking up with her, because I'm too mainstream apparently. This breaks my heart and kills my erection.
 
I love girls with tattoos and piercings. You find me a girl with two sleeves and gauged ears, nose and lips rings, and I'll show you a guy who will ditch any girl he's talking to and aim straight for trouble. I'm not sure why I find all these items so attractive, but I do, and I don't try to hide it. I've told several tattooed beauties that I would marry them after knowing them for twenty minutes. I'm also the kind of guy who would marry a strange girl in Vegas because it sounded like a good idea at the time, so that probably gives you a good idea of what marriage and love mean to me.

There is a problem though, these type of girls, suicide girls for instance, aren't really attracted to me.

I have zero piercings. I just never really felt the need to go out and get one. I also lack tattoos. I'm not against getting them or anything, I just believe tattoos should be something you really want, and I just haven't found anything worth tattooing on my body forever. Another problem is I don't dress like a punk rocker, or anyone who would be really into the rock scene. I guess if I had to label my wardrobe, it's a mix between preppy and indie, which I think is an interesting combo, but suicide girls usually don't, and some of them told me when they saw me walk into the room, they thought I was probably gay. I guess when you spend a decent amount of time making jokes about how gay you are, people tend to think you're gay. I wish someone would have told me earlier, because I could have spent a lot more time making gay jokes at others instead of myself.

I've had long conversations with girls of the alternative scene, and I know everything about the screamo/death metal/indie music scene, I have a pretty decent knowledge of counter culture clothing styles, and have common interests with most of them. That's because I am part of that scene, I just don't look the part. Most of my friends have tattoos and piercings, and I'm just that odd looking kid who shows up at their parties, knows most of the people there, has a great time, but has to go home with another preppy looking girl, or just go home alone.
 
So to the alt girls out there, I love all of you, will marry any of you, and don't let my looks fool you, I can mosh like a mother fucker.

Also, I eat vagina. Does that help my cause?


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