America: We would like to end the war in Iraq.
Democrat: That is a great idea. We are working towards setting a timetable that should have us out of there by 2013.
America: Wait a minute. I don't mean end the war in six years. I mean right now. It's an unconstitutional war, our reasons for going in are bullshit, and it's creating massive economical dilemmas for us. Let's leave now.
Democrat: Things like this take time.
America: Why?
Republican: Because we have a duty to the brave fighting men of America to finish the job.
America: So we have a duty to continue risking the lives of those brave men and women whose lives are being risked for an unconstitutional reason?
Republican: Absolutely. We made our bed and now we have to lie in it.
America: Why?
Republican: Because in this world, we must take responsibility for our actions.
America: But we never took responsibility for arming Afghanistan or lying to the public about WMDs or lying to the public about accomplishing the mission or lying to the public about finding Osama Bin Laden or lying to the public about leaving after we ousted Hussein so why the sudden need for responsibility?
Democrat: You see America, the thing is, when something as large and as complex as the US government makes a decision to set up certain fiscal allegiances? well, you can't just undo that overnight. It takes time to massage the system, to allow the businesses time to scale back their efforts slowly, so as to still see a profit. The government is very much at the mercy of the businesses it hires.
America: That makes no fucking sense. You hired them. You can fire them.
Democrat: Additionally, there are a lot of programs in place in Iraq and the Iraqi people have come to rely on us for help from these programs.
America: Name one.
Republican: We are arming and training their forces so that they can learn to protect their own freedom and we are helping them set up a democracy.
America: Why?
Republican: Because every person deserves to be free.
America: But if you force it on them, how is it freedom?
Democrat: You just don't understand the importance of democracy.
America: Maybe, but I know bullshit when I step in it. That's why I'm voting for Ron Paul.
Ron Paul: We marched right in; we can march right out.
America: That's what we're talking about, assholes. That's what we're talking about.