Welcome back to the MLB Blog Exchange (Or as Nick Gaudio calls it, “The thing I'll make fun of but secretly wish I had been invited into. I'm going to go write another faggoty poem and try to convince people Rebello's a virgin, hoping people look past my propensity toward fucking fat chicks.”)
From the files of DeGraaf:
All right, I have to admit that I didn't think the Cards will have a chance in game 2 of the world series. I mean, we've been owned by lefties and there's a crafty veteran going at us tonight (I hope one day someone will describe me as being a crafty veteran. Really, that would be too cool. I mean, the phrase just sounds like it means, “an old man you don't want to fuck with.” Only in sports), but then my Bucs won on a 62 yard field goal and now I'm all giddy like the dumb bitch that got asked to prom by the qb of her high school. Today is just awesome.
I don't know if you saw last night's game, but why the fuck was Verlander smiling after Pujols tattooed that weak ass fast ball the other way. I wish someone would have asked him about that. Please tell me you know.
This post season has been going on so long, my superstitions have superstitions.
Hey, hockey is back. Any suggestions for how to like, you know, market it and stuff. Seems like they could use an idea or three. Come on Justin, you've got the time.
You know you've been umpiring too much little league when you come to the yard and the fourteen year old kids all know you by name. Hell, a couple of the brats even took time to tell me that the Cards have no shot against the tigers. Boys, I tell you, it ain't long until they become full blown assholes. Kinda makes me happy.
The more that I think about it (and believe me, I've been thinking about it), I mean, the Mets through a first pitch change-up to the guy with the slowest bat on the Cardinals. Not the brightest move right there.
If you could pick any athlete to represent you in a court of law, who would you go with? I'd go with Curt Schilling. He just seems like the kind of guy who likes public speaking and research.
Well, I'm ninety minutes from first pitch. Time to get my buzz on (probably my favorite post season superstition).
Stay out of jail, J-Reb. Remember, you're a college graduate.
Nothing like my pick being wrong at the end of Game 1. Count me among those who didn't think the Cards had a chance to win even a single game. A few things I should have considered:
The Cards' pitching staff is perfect for an impatient, inexperienced offense like the Tigers.
Albert Pujols is the best player in the series, hands down.
All Jim Leyland's heard for the past week is how much of a genius he is, so he can talk himself into spectacularly dumb ideas like letting Verlander pitch to Albert with first base open.
Tigers fans are a lot like pre-2004 Red Sox fans where if anything starts to go wrong, they get real quiet real fast. Cards fans meanwhile are almost eerily comfortable. I'm convinced everyone in Busch Stadium gets a free blow job included in the price of admission.
In regards to Verlander, never fully trust an athlete who smiles after getting bitchslapped in a sporting event. Both A-Rod and Peyton Manning pull that and that's bad company when you're trying to win a championship. If it were me, I'd bean the next eight Cardinals until Pujols came back up, then I'd bean him, too.
I still say Tigers win, but with a little luck, I could see this series stretching to six.
Pick any athlete to be my lawyer? How about Peyton Manning? He's already gotten the NFL to change the rules to protect him, refs to make outrageously bad calls in his favor during playoff games, and experts to proclaim him a champion even though he's notoriously lousy in the playoffs. You're telling me he couldn't get someone off a DUI?
Market hockey? Here's something to ponder. The Bruins have played six games already. I've watched about two periods. And I love hockey. I plan my night around playoff games. I have a fantasy hockey team that I check regularly. So what's the deal? Well, the NHL for whatever reason opens its season in the first week of October (i.e. the meat of football season and the start of the baseball playoffs). It's impossible for the average sports fans to follow three leagues closely. Besides, it's an 82-game season and the playoffs are two months long. So hockey has to compete with the top two leagues in America for a month, then basketball starts and SportsCenter morphs into NBA 2Night. So nobody has any idea what's going on in hockey until the Super Bowl is over, and then see some random team from the South is in first place. Everyone gets pissed off and by the time they can think rationally, it's March Madness. Nobody gives a shit about hockey for a month, then in April the playoffs start, everyone says they'll watch but forgot the games are on OLN (Excuse me, Versus) and everyone gets even more upset.
So here's my suggestion. Start the NHL season in December. Baseball is long gone. Half of the NFL games don't matter. The playoffs would start in June, right after the NBA's done and the only competition is early-season baseball which is a snooze anyway.
Either move the start of the season, or secretly contract all the teams in the South and just not answer your phone. Either way.
We'll be back after Game 2…