Okay, now that we’ve got our trees where we want them, what do you say we add a cabin here in our nice tranquil valley? We’ll just mix up some Van Dyke Brown and some Dark Sienna, and then use our brush to just block in a general outline here. Now, let’s take some Titanium White, some Dark Sienna, heck, maybe some Alizarin Crimson, and just graze the sides of our cabin to just give it that old weathered look. It was probably built by hand, back when people were competent and free—back before we began taking our orders from machines.

Now it’s time to clean our brush. Just dip it in the paint thinner there, shake off the excess, and then beat the devil out of it. That’s really the most fun part of this method.

Speaking of which, many people are critical of certain methods because “It’s wrong to do harm to people.” Of course, they don’t understand that in order to stop this Bataan death march that we call modern society, we’ll have to make some tough sacrifices. Don’t they see that technology will soon be beyond our control? When the machines’ interests diverge from our own, we’ll be the ones cowed into submission. It’s not too late to throw this doomed canvas into the fireplace and start over clean…

Oh! Sorry. If you're painting along at home, please don’t throw your canvas into the fireplace. I was only speaking metaphorically.

Okay, now let’s just add a mailbox to our painting here. You know, a painting can be a useful tool for changing peoples’ way of thinking. You use your brush strokes to create all of the individual components, which come together to form a whole. If you’ve assembled it correctly it will have a great impact.

It’s kind of like… Oh I don’t know… A bomb, I suppose. A painting or a bomb could cause just the right amount of surprise, confusion, horror even, to shake people out of their stupors, especially if you mail it to the right person.

We’re going to mix up some Cadmium Yellow and Permanent Red now, and up over this ridgeline, we’ll just use some soft-rounded strokes to give the indication of a bright glow. Maybe that’s the town back over yonder somewhere, but the glow isn’t from the cafés on main street. This glow is from the power station, which is burning with magnificent fury thanks to one of our little “paintings.” Once the fire does its almighty work, we’ll need only one color: Midnight Black. Yes, a nice series of blackouts might be just the push we need to topple this prison we’re building up around ourselves.

Folks, I’d like you to ask yourselves something. What happens when you can’t get food at the supermarket anymore? How soon do you think it will be before the violent hordes are at your door? That’s why I’ve learned to live off the land and built a cabin just like this one. The fighting in the streets will be terrible, and only those with a plan will survive the initial uprising. My one concern is that I’ll no longer be able to get a nice perm for my hair.

Well folks, my producer is jumping up and down and waving his arms. He doesn’t seem to be a very happy little tree at the moment, so I think we’re going to have to cut this one short. On behalf of all of us here at the station, we’d like to wish each and every one of you happy painting, and happy revolution.

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