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My best friend Winston heard that my parents would be out of town for the weekend and his eyes glazed over with one thought: PARTY. And before I knew it, the wheels were in motion.
Using the formula "Sex - Contraceptive = Baby," my wife and I began "trying to have a baby." But first, our little science project began with a semen analysis to gauge my potency.
Relationships, the differences between a man and a woman, the yin and the yang, the alpha and the... lesser alpha. The glue that binds and the absolute mental catastrophe that entails.
A progressive biologist's guide to understanding and analyzing the 8 groups of birds and their general stupidity and ridiculousness. Because birds are the Earth's comedic gift to us.
If you participate in one or more of the following 8 actions or behaviors, you are a monster, and you are cordially invited to eat fast food for the rest of your pathetic life.
I've finally made a decision: the first drug I'm going to try is weed, and my first partner in crime is going to be my dog, because the conversation is going to be amazing.
If you've ever been heartbroken or dumped, you know that shitty feeling that feels like you'll never come out from. Guess what? Now's the perfect time to bring everyone else down!
It can often be difficult to figure out the true meaning behind people posting "happy birthday" on your wall. But by looking at the times of each post, you can dissect the situation.
For every awe-inspiring blockbuster or hard-hitting drama we fall in love with, there is always going to be an obnoxious remake. Here is a list of the big films coming in 2012 and what to expect.
Baby you and me ain't nothin but rabbits. So let's do it way better, more often, and super sexier than they do it on the Discovery Channel.
After braving the parallel universe that is Memebase, ignoring any terrible visions of the apocalypse, I came to a conclusion: the English language as we know it will pretty much cease to exist.
It may never be a good haircut but at least it's cheap and involves hair getting cut. That is, if you can make it through all the trials and tribulations of the waiting room.