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Crap! Crap! Crap! Brain, you idiot, what did you just do? You don't want soymilk. Why did you say that? Ok, you can fix this, THINK...
There's no better way to impress on a young boy the timeless lesson of impermanence than the gallows. Then move on to a ballista or siege tower!
When life seems overwhelming, it's important to remind yourself that there must be articles out there to help. Somewhere.
Gone are the days of sitting around nervously waiting for that quiet nutcase to shoot up a public space. Now a single kit can test for the devil!
I never wanted to be the jealous girlfriend, but the first thing I did when my boyfriend moved to Bulgaria is Google "Are Bulgarian women hot?"
Suddenly, all your girlfriend wants to do is play golf, hang around casinos, and insult people riding around in sub-compact cars.
A study of 200,000 toddlers, conducted by scientists at Barnard College over 15 years, has determined that toddlers misbehave to prep their parents for doomsday scenarios.
Poetry is a tough sell, especially when it involves making people listen to it out loud at length. Here's how to sell the concept to friends.
It's as if to be part of the intelligentsia you have to say "look" before making your point. Look at what? Look where? You're a jerk.
Has anyone else noticed the new phenomenon of junkies on bikes? Usually children's bicycles that no one over age 12 could be comfortably riding.
Even as an 8-year-old boy, I knew that having my period would make me a man; it was the first step to becoming an adult.
Here at Cuddles, we promise that your adverse reactions to negative consequences will be so traumatizing, you'll never procrastinate again.