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I understand the difference between right and wrong. And if somebody captured Rob Lowe, murdered him and made a jacket out of his skin it would be wrong.
As a community service, allow me to dive into some hour-by-hour trends I’ve noted on the typical Friday night babysit, with a few tips for dealing with those trends.
From 150 miles under the bandstand of Toms River, NJ, a demon explains what it's like to be a timeshare telemarketer in Hell.
Does your new haircut scream stylish or white power? Use this guide to see where you fall on the spectrum from well-meaning hipster to Richard Spencer.
I was hesitant at first. A military guy? Is he every going to be around with all those long deployments? Was my mom really ready for that life?
Compared to investment banking, my colleagues tell me acting is almost completely recession-proof. People will buy tickets to shows even if they don't have the money to buy them!
For me, a guy with mainstream sexual compulsions, the love of my life showed up where I least expected it: inside a rusty dumpster loaded with 1,000 gallons of syrupy green goo.
"I think that it’s important to realize that Mr. Wayne has kept a lot of secrets from the American people, secrets that Mr. Joker, frankly, feels they deserve to have answered."
There might not even be a crime to convict you of, but this is not the time to assume there isn’t. Absolutely DO NOT get your fingerprints on it.
In a concerted effort to protect our own from further desecration and prejudice, we secretly replace all Gentile bodies with dead Jews. Standard procedure within the Conspiracy.
I won't go into biological details, son, because that would just be awkward for both of us, but I really want you to understand that Gettin’ Down to Business is serious business.
So, you want the inside scoop on Snuffy, Big Bird’s best pal? Well, here’s the cold, hard truth: Mr. Snuffalupagus wasn’t imaginary at all, he was a crook.