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For the Improviser: If you’re looking to give a gift that lasts, offer them $450 to never improvise again.
Nobody just carves a roast beast like that. Not without training. This guy has combat skills. Probably ex-marine gone rogue. Let’s see him in action.
4. While out caroling with your family aggressively sing, “make the yuletide straight!” when singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas."
“If you could clear out all the space in your mind, you’d have a doorway.” Enter the airing of grievances!
Peppermint Razor Bark (p. 194): The easiest and most economical recipe, this sweet is great for either a time-sensitive soirée or a mass sabotage.
6. Hold Your Family’s Feet to the Fires of Capitalism --- Santa Claus? A soulless creation of Coca-Cola to help them hock a sugary beverage.
"The Christmas Countdown": A group of photogenic children frolic by a fireplace and repeatedly exclaim "It's almost Christmas!" for 87 minutes.
Missed You… Again You: A relaxing holiday. Me: Dehydrated, depleted, stuck in traffic. God, I want you so bad.
Maybe, if you roll up your in-flight magazine and hit him really hard on the nose with your free hand--- Oh, Saint Jude! He’s unhinged his jaw now…
Drive down a country road, past a bucolic house with spectral corpses in the trees, and you’ll see this beautiful tiny home: 500 square feet of bliss.
I am fairly certain my stepson is going to murder me. These albums have turned what's left of His heart as frosted as the tips of His hair.
October 1st, 1926 “Automobiles are fine, but Partybots are the future. I don’t understand why my investors are mad.”