Daily funny articles by seasoned comedy writers and fresh voices. Best of Year | Editors' Picks | People's Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
By all accounts, my client satisfied the legal definition of a sharp dressed man. And yet, the ladies did not come a-runnin' just as fast as they can.
I’m not angry at Disney. Who among us hasn’t been forced to decide between keeping all stories predictably white or…not doing that? It’s a tough call.
I’m never totally sure what rises to the occasion of repentance, but I get the distinct feeling most things do?
I was a philosophy major. I can’t say my studies haven’t served me well in my current line of work as the beachball tossed at corporate sales events.
The new Boiling Lava Pit contains molten volcanic lava from the island of Heimaey, because here at DigiTech --- Authenticity Matters ©.
You'll be on hold for at least 45 minutes before you hang up in an impotent rage, so may I help you with anything else before I transfer you over?
1:37 PM: Host will say that, “things should get cooking here in about 5 minutes!” This will be torture and will leave you craving a cheeseburger.
I don’t dress for the male gaze. I dress to cover my biohazardous innards so no one detects I’m a heat-seeking scaled creature.
What’s the point of locating a family to scare and waiting under a bed, if when I crawl out to scare the kid, they’re not even in there?
Dad’s old tennis sneakers: You dated him in college when he wore these sneakers and you seemed to like them just fine back then.
Gaze upon the glory of my cover of “Seven Nation Army.” Observe the light of my own original songs, which sound exactly like “Seven Nation Army.”
Did it ever occur to you that maybe leading an active lifestyle doesn’t make you inherently more driven & virtuous? Maybe it just makes you sweatier.