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We were thrilled to see that Peepaw had seized the opportunity for a new lease on life, by using the shiny, porcelain figurine "Pete Buttigieg."
He says he got a "nasty case of sunburn" from his "trip to Hawaii," but I'm no idiot. I can tell that he too is suffering from coronavirus
Day Two: To smooth things over with my girlfriend, I write "You'll always be my Number One worm" in gummies on the kitchen floor.
Measles, schmeasles... which is actually a new form of measles.
1. The dammed-up Colorado River running through Austin is called... A) Town Lake B) Lady Bird Lake C) A lake? Sure as hell don’t look like a lake
3. How often are you an asshole? I would say whenever I’m conscious, but I can be fairly verbally abusive in my dreams.
Some evil Freudian wiring has kept my sister and I at the mercy of the same celebrities and, even worse, absolute hunks in our daily lives.
An excerpt from Section 38.28.1 of the Limo Driver's Handbook about how to deal with a bachelorette that turns into a jewel heist.
xBB/PPInn(Astros-VPonly): Number of beanballs or brushbacks per game vs. Astros hitters thrown by pitchers who pitched against Houston in 2017-19.
And who is left? Just us free-thinking, illogical, hypochondriacs, doomsday preppers, and Hulk lady. So, I'm just gonna go there : I told you so!
See, you’re a normal person that does normal-person things. Not me though. I’ve always been more of a figure--a figure that does public things.
Be there gold? Nay. Be there jewels? Nay. Be there the 2-3 years of experience required of ye to land an entry-level buccaneering position? Aye.