Jared Fitz (12 reviews, 5 photos): No menu here, you just tell the bartender a little about yourself and he creates a drink based on your energy! He doesn’t miss.

Carley Ramos (45 reviews, 3 photos): I told the bartender about backpacking through the Alps and he made me the most delicate concoction. Five stars.

Vermelda Pemple (687 reviews, 0 photos): Vermelda Pemple here. Well, after hearing about the “menu-less” concept and reading rave reviews, I was delighted to make this my first stop in Prague. Imagine my surprise when, after telling Boris (the bartender) about my life, my work, my accolades in the theater, he returned with a shot of rum stirred into a pint of Guinness. Clearly, this drink was dropped at my table on accident, as it in no way describes my looks or personality.

Claire Cohen (26 reviews, 12 photos): One of the best drinking experiences of my life.

Scott Randolds (9 reviews, 1 photo): Long Live Boris!

Vermelda Pemple (688 reviews, 0 photos): A shot of rum stirred into a pint of Guinness? Last night I tossed and turned, cogitating on what type of person might fit the description of such a drink. Perhaps someone like Zizek, or Gorbachev, or even the former Czech Deputy Economic Minister Pavel Němcová (a man whom, by the way, I was briefly entangled with in my early twenties, until extradition became the fashion and poor Pavel fled to Tajikistan). Anyone who has ever seen me knows I am more suited to gin than rum, to Cabernet Sauvignon than Guinness (And I am not even Irish, although I was in a splendid summer stock production of The Plough and the Stars).

Anne Smith (5 reviews, 1 photo): Boris crafted me a stunning cocktail from his top-shelf vodka, lavender tonic, and fresh chrysanthemum flowers. He nailed me!

Casey Huntsgrove (17 reviews, 6 photos): Great spot! I’m not really sure what Vermelda is talking about. Seems like someone read her like a book and she isn’t ready to face who she is.

Vermelda Pemple (700 reviews, 0 photos): Well, I had just about put this whole incident to bed when Casey’s review placed me back in Sisyphus’s shoes, once again torturing myself over why I was served a shot of rum stirred into a pint of Guinness, an incident that has caused me to lose more sleep than the time that Gwen Verdon’s cousin beat me for the role of Annie’s Ghost in Annie: Turn Off The Dark. How I wish I could chalk it up to poor lighting, or bartender Boris’s bad eyesight, but I fear that the drink dropped at my table (a drink that Google has informed me is colloquially known as a “Stumpy”), might not have been an accident, and more of an intentional take-down of my character.

Alex Lamb (20 reviews, 4 photos): Just like that scene in Ratatouille.

Vermelda Pemple (910 reviews, 0 photos): It finally dawned on me, the only plausible reason for being given a shot of rum stirred into a pint of Guinness, a drink colloquially known as a “Stumpy.” This little mix-up must have occurred due to my breakout role in the off-off-Broadway steampunk production of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in which I played the sister of the factory’s Union Representative. I imagine that this is where Boris got the idea for “Stumpy” (but anyone familiar with the production surely knows that a more accurate description of the Union Rep’s Sister would be “Sexy” or “Seductive” or “Sophisticated”). I plan to set the record straight with Boris immediately.

Vermelda Pemple, reply to Vermelda Pemple: Well, I did it: I returned to Nemluvím Česky (a once-delightful menu-less bar in Prague) and faced my personal Diablo (Boris The Bartender). Boris and I again had a lengthy conversation about my life, my work, my accolades in the theater, after which he, again, brought me a drink. And what was this drink, dearest readers? A shot of rum stirred into a pint of Guinness, a drink colloquially known as a “Stumpy.”

Vermelda Pemple, reply to Vermelda Pemple: Boris, I trusted you. You were the first man to make me a drink after my husband Johnny Rockefeller left me for the Mac Cosmetics counter girl, who just happened to be doing my makeup in Montauk Players’ production of Some Like It Hot. Et Tu, Boris? Now, I realize, I must turn inward, where I might find within myself a Negroni (for my intellect), a Martini extra dry (for my savoir-faire), or even a Paloma (for my foxy). ZERO STARS.

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