Dear Sarah Palin,

Hey girl heeeey! I'm soOoOo excited that you're running for Vice President of the United States, I'm totally voting for you!

I gotta tell ya girl, it wasn't easy arriving at my decision. You see, I was leaning towards Barack Obama because I agree with his stance on many important issues, and I was kind of hoping he'd pick Hillary Clinton as his running mate because, again, I agree with the things she wants for our country. But then he chose Joe Biden who, well, just isn't as good as Hillary in my book. But, nevertheless, I was still leaning toward the Democrats because their views mesh pretty well with mine.

That all changed when John McCain brought you on board. I completely forgot about all my values and opinions…I'm all about GIRL POWER now! I don't even care that you want to overturn Roe v. Wade and take away a woman's right to choose… because your shoes are TO DIE FOR! I mean, seriously, who has time to think about boring things like reproductive rights with the season premiere of Desperate Housewives just around the corner?

I can't believe all those mean things the Democrats are saying about you. So your only real political experience has been governing Alaska for two years…big deal! I certainly don't mind…not when your outfits are that cute! You and I would make a GREAT shopping duo, I can just tell. Just keep me away from Macy's, I'll go nuts in there!

I was a little worried at first about your position on gay marriage, because I thought to myself, "Why can't two people who love each other get married? Does their gender really matter?"… then during your speech at the Republican National Convention, I noticed your ADORABLE glasses! I immediately ignored my better judgment and jumped on the McCain/Palin train…next stop, the White House!

Thank goodness the Republicans nominated you, a woman, as the vice presidential candidate! It's such a relief to toss aside my personal beliefs and blindly follow you and John. I bet you're already shopping for interior décor for the White House; I can't wait to see what you do with the Lincoln room! Well darlin' I'd love to chat all day, but this laundry isn't going to do itself! Wouldn't that be nice ; )

You GO girl!

Kisses!
Sarah (we even have the same name!)

Join upcoming November classes in Satire Writing, Sketch Writing, and Stand-Up Joke Writing.