• How much you need the coffee that is being brewed
  • Positive feelings toward coffee
  • Disparaging feelings toward people who don’t like coffee
  • How many cups of coffee you’ve already had today
  • Speculation on how many more cups of coffee you might have today
  • A surface level analysis of the merits and demerits of local coffee establishments
  • How much you love strong coffee and hate weak coffee
  • How weak your parents make coffee
  • A really-really brief description of your coffee origin story
  • Humorous tales of coffee spills from days past
  • Running commentary about how slow the coffee pot in your office is, along with subtle grousing about how your employer should really spring for a new one
  • Expressions of gratitude toward the person who made the coffee
  • Vague statements about the fact that you made the coffee in an attempt to get someone else to thank you
  • Quiet complaints about the brand of coffee provided by your employer
  • False promises about how you might bring in a better brand of coffee for your coworkers to enjoy
  • A fun fact about coffee
  • An admittance that you’re not sure if the fun fact that you shared about coffee is actually true
  • Tea-related digs and slams
  • Jokes about how no one should talk to you until you’ve had your coffee
  • Incredibly serious statements about how no one should talk to you until you’ve had your coffee