Approved Discussion Topics While Waiting for Coffee to Brew at Work
How much you love strong coffee and hate weak coffee // How weak your parents make coffee
Tag: Conversations
Conversation Topics Short Enough to Complete with My Barber While I, a Nearly Entirely Bald 55-Year-Old Man, Get My Hair Cut
Good reasons for anyone, anywhere, under any circumstances, to buy, make, or consume a blueberry bagel.
Tough Conversations with My Mechanic Bruce Springsteen
Bruce: With this very unpleasin' sneezin' and wheezin, she’s revved up like a deuce. Me: Layman’s terms? Bruce: It’s totaled.
A One-Sided Conversation at a Grill That You Didn’t Start and Can’t Get Out Of
I’m going to take a beer. Man. Beeeeautiful. Nothing like a nice day– Flip that. That’s done. It’s burnt.
A Conversation Between German Chancellor Angela Merkel and the Guy with a Mask Dangling from One Ear at the Speed-N-Go
My mask's jerky hole? Yes, what’s that? It’s a hole for eating jerky. I don’t think that works. Please don’t. Oh, you’re showing me already.
Conversations I’d Rather Have Than the One Where We Talk About How Quarantine Has Made Us Lose Track of What Day It Is
The one where I try to explain to my conservative step-father who doesn’t see color that calling protestors "thugs" is racist.
The Email Conversation I Had with My Middle School Vice Principal after Repeatedly Butt-Dialing Him While Riding a Mechanical Bull
"Unless this is some sort of street lingo I need to brush up on, I think you may have accidentally contacted me. LOL!"
Awkward Conversations With Your Self-Driving Uber
You: Uber, why are we taking Broadway? Uber: We are briefly stopping at your ex-girlfriend Karen’s house on the way. You two need to talk…
Creative Ways to Get Out of Conversations With Men Who Just Learned Who Nietzsche Is
Ask if his idea of the Übermensch is also white, ya know, like he is. No way to cut off an Aryan like bringing up the Holocaust.
A Conversation Pretending I Know What a Mortgage Is
Claire, who had 14 bridesmaids, each of whom eats half of their late night Chicken Fajita wrap treat and puts the other in the fridge: “Wait, what?”
My Declaration of Independence From This Conversation
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all conversations are not created equal; that some are boring as hell and a complete waste of time.
A Principal’s Tough Conversation with His Coolest Student
"You fielded eighteen promposals before February. That's a county record."