Striking Revelations Quotes

When something suddenly hits you like a ton of bricks, the results can range from utter devastation to instant gratification.
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1
FAV

Lucie: It's totally weird that Old Spice uses Doogie Howser in those new commercials.
Nate: Why? Because he came out?
Lucie: Yeah!
Nate: Why should that matter?
Lucie: Old Spice is the deodorant for straight guys!
Nate: Huh? Then what the fuck deodorant is the deodorant for gay guys?
Maria: Secret?
-On essential coverups

1
FAV

"I'm going to go get high, I'll be friendly when I get back."
-Zach, on social norms

0
FAVS

Jenn: Indestructible? I wouldn't bet the farm on it.
Jason: We have a FARM? Where??
Jenn: Um, in your pants.
-Late low blows to the boyfriend

3
FAVS

Football Fan: I'll have 2 beers please.
Fan's Girlfriend: What? The game hasn't even started and you're drinking already?
Frank: You don't need a reason to drink beer. Beer itself is a reason to drink beer.
Fan's Girlfriend: You're right. Make that 4 beers.
-If it exists, they will drink

0
FAVS

Jess: Does this shirt flatten my boobs?
Mike: Please don't ask me this...
Jess: Why does it bother you when I ask you to look at my boobs?
Mike: Oh, I do it all the time...it's just weird when you know I'm doing it.
-Mike, unable to bring himself to look at his friend's boobs on command

0
FAVS

"It's like a laxative. A laxative of fear."
-Jeff, on taking ayahuasca

2
FAVS

Carla: I cooked kosher hotdogs for supper.
Moh: EMILY! COME EAT A JEW WEINER!!
-Specific people coming to mind

New River Community College Other
0
FAVS

Janet: Efren, I wouldn't wear my bathing suit around you if you paid me $2 million.
Efren: I would pay you $2 million NOT to wear a bathing suit around me.
-You just saved: $2 million

1
FAV

Lauren: So did that guy just say, "I'm fixin' to kill that bitch?"
Walter: Pretty sure he just did.
Bill: So when the word "fixin'" just pours out of someone, that makes them certifiably crazy?
Walter: I'm guessing that's the case.
Lauren: This show is so enlightening.
-While watching Lockup on MSNBC

1
FAV

Customer: It's hot out there!
Molly: Is it?
Customer: Yeah. Well, you obviously don't get much sun, do you? Is that on purpose?
Molly: ...Umm, no, not really. I'm just in here all the time, working.
Customer: Yeah... you're very white. I used to be pale, but not like you. I'm just going to browse for a bit.
Molly: Okay... if you have any questions, let me know.
-Strictly business?

0
FAVS

Kelli: I was funny before I met you!
Edward: No...my presence has made your humor blossom.
-On the true laugh factor

1
FAV

Leeny: Adrianna, what's your screen name?
Adrianna: Why?
Leeny: What do you mean, why? So I can talk to you online!
Adrianna (completely serious): ....Oh. Here, I'll give you the one I don't use very often.
Leeny: What the hell kind of answer is that?!
-Rejected before the first keystroke

3
FAVS

Tanya: I'm watching 8 Mile. It's really good.
Courtney: I'm having sex in an orchard.
-Comparing daily activities over the phone

1
FAV

Katie: Mom, we need a new shower curtain, this one lets the water out because it doesn't go all the way down.
Katie's Mom: Try to pull down the bar.
Katie: Okay, but I don't understand what you want me to do...
Katie's Mom: Is the curtain touching the floor?
Katie: Yeah but...ohhh...
-Why moms worry so much when their kids go off to college

2
FAVS

"I had no idea what she was talking about when she asked 'What makes hydrogen bonds important to the qualities of water?' or something stupid like that, so I just wrote 'Hydrogen bonds are important because they're what makes the water wet."
-Jess, on why she knows she failed the test

Owens Community College Other
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