Striking Revelations Quotes

"I didn't know those little fuckers could fly, I thought they were like flamingos, they have wings, but they can't fly..."
-Ruben, upon encountering a few cicadas

Kristin: Who was on the phone?
Lena: Just some bitch.
Kristin: Oh, my mom?
-On accurate descriptions

"I would rather beat myself to death than work with the camel-toe girl."
-Alicia, on unacceptable partners in lab

Guy 1: Racism is ignorant.
Guy 2: Yeah. Grow up! Who wears a costume at 30 years old?
-On disguising your disgust

Joe: So your sister was telling me that I need to hook up with her roommate. Apparently she showed her pics of me last night and she said I was hot. And your sis talked me up, said I was a good guy, very caring, blah blah blah. But I saw the chick today, and she's like, supermodel good lookin'.
Chris: Really, what's her name?
Joe: Uhhhhh. (Looks to friend) Shit, what WAS her name?
-On half ass attempts

Tre: What do you want to do first this fall?
Ron: I don't know nothing short of cocaine and hookers with penises excites me anymore.
-On rampant overstimulation

"Cody and I had a long talk about prejudice against people you only hear about and not actually meet. We concluded that he was a fucking prick, and that I hate him."
-Scott, on practicing what you preach

"I’ve had erections softer than that!"
-Casey, in reference to a bagel he was eating at breakfast

Joe: So you finally lost your virginity last night! Congrats married boy!
P: Thanks man.
Joe: I bet you didn't even make it a minute did you.
P: I didn't count the seconds, but I know there weren't very many.
-On countless intervals

Tim (in cinema): "True Blood" sucks! It's just a bunch of faggy vampires fighting a bunch of faggy werewolves.
Gavin: Dude, we're just about to watch "Twilight: Eclipse." I don't think there's a pot and kettle big enough.
-On the blackest of comedy

Sam: Bam, bitch! I just pulled a quadruple toe-loop and iced the cake with a triple salchow.
Lance: Dude...you're so gay.
-Sam, trying to rub in his "perfect" in Soulcalibur II

Tony: You have been through how many roommates including me?
Trev: 10.
Tony: Are you starting to see a pattern?
Trev: Yeah, for 1.5 years, Res Life has been sending me douchebags.
-On one in a long line

Trev: I claim you in the name of Trevor!
Tony: Dude stop claiming my stuff as yours. I swear you're worse then a male cat.
Trev: Hey man you take it easy on me, I could easily just piss on your shit like a cat...but I have class man.
-On overmarking your territory

Henri: Dad, why am I always a disappointment to you!
Henri's Dad: You're not a disappointment you're just not mine, that's all.
-On ultimate shortcomings

"I get into a lot of accidents. I am a bad driver. But it's not my fault! My car just runs on estrogen."
-Eric, on alternative fuel