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Striking Revelations Quotes
When something suddenly hits you like a ton of bricks, the results can range from utter devastation to instant gratification.
Submit your quotes here!
"This may be the biggest one yet...."
-Kevin, playing wingman and taking one for the team
John: You mother sucks cocks in hell....
Reverend Harold: John? John Bussack?!
John: OH SHIT!
-John, prank calling random numbers in his phone
Frank: Am I a terrible person?
Giles: Yes.
Frank: But I make good pancakes.
Giles: You're still a terrible person.
Frank: But by making good pancakes, I'm bringing in the same amount of good and evil into the world, therefore, I'm neutral.
Giles: Doesn't work like that.
-On tipping the scales
"If you ever put my peanut butter in the fridge again I will FUCKING MURDER YOU."
-Jake, hard up over the nuts
Alex: Don't make me sing my song!
Jerica: What song?!
Alex: The "Your Boyfriend Looks Like a Creep" song!
-On breakout hits
Chris: So what are you doing?
Parkson: Eating salad and talking online. From now on you have to assume that everything I do is doing something and talking online. Like... masturbating and talking online, studying and talking online and like... working out and talking online.
-On standards of multitasking
"Hello this message is for Kyle. The test results came in and confirmed that you are allergic to latex. Normally we do not leave personal messages on machines, but it is the
weekend and you are at Madison so we didn't want you to take any chance of... er, coming into contact with latex and potentially putting yourself in the emergency room."
-Kyle's answering machine
Sandra: Religion is a waste of time. I mean, if God exists, we'd be like ants to him. Would you answer the prayers of an ant?
Gavin: Well yeah I would, because I'm an entomologist.
-On failed analogies
"I know that you are supposed to be able to tolerate your own smells and sweat, but these definitely smell like my shit."
-Jordan, after smelling his pants
Eric: Fun Fact, pretty sure Jim Morrison stole "Break on Through to the Other Side" from "Acid Jazz" by Django Reinhart.
Henri: You need to get laid.
-Facing the facts of life
Jake (gauging no reaction to his first-ever bee sting at age 24): I guess I'm not allergic to pricks!
Gavin: I think I can safely say the same thing...
-On the intersection of biology and homosexuality
Lars: I hate deaf people.
Everyone: ....
Ryan: ...The fuck?
Lars: I don't care. They can't hear me.
-On staying out of earshot
Noam: So what do you kids like best about science?
First kid: I like butterflies.
Second kid: I like explosions.
Third kid: I like drugs.
Noam: What did you just say?
Third kid: Frogs. I like frogs.
-Noam, while serving the inner city community
Cali: So those are the places that we could go eat. Where do you wanna go?
Joe: I don't care.
Cali: Cmon, make a decision.
Joe: Strip club.
Cali: A strip club was not an option.
Joe: A strip club is always an option.
-On the main course
Kristin: Eww, I don't like that stuff.
Kristin's Mom: I am so sick of you kids never liking anything I set on the table!
Kristin: The food probably is too, but it doesn't say anything!
-On a pleasant night away from campus
