College Quotes

Thousands of dumb, funny, and amusing college quotes submitted daily by students everywhere and immortalized in one place for greater shame and reflection.

"I'm gonna name my kid something like bitch ass piece of shit motherfuckin' cocksucker. Then I'll call him Tourette's for short."
-Justin, on baby names

East Carolina University

Kyle: I mean you guys act like all I do is make Maddy pay for my food and booze and I don't contribute anything to the relationship. Do you know how hard it is to have sex 4 times a day? I mean all she has to do is lay there.
Patrick: Yeah that's true. Being on top can be exhausting.
Kyle: Well, actually, she's normally on top. So I just have to lay there. But I mean, I contribute. I've got to provide the big dick.
-Kyle, on the reasons why Maddy shouldn't dump him

East Carolina University

"What?! Sadie sent me a picture message. What the fuck is that!?! Ewww sick! That's disgusting looking. What IS tha... OH... that's her face."
-Kory, on monster mistakes

East Carolina University

"Owwwp, I hear a bouncing basketball, maybe they have crack and some drugs..."
-Garrett, on racist giveaways

East Carolina University

Jessica (as they ride over train tracks): I've never ridden on a train before.
Jordan: Me either.
Jessica: Let's take a trip somewhere.
Jordan: Oh, let's go to California!
Jessica: I would rather fly to California.
Jordan: It's like an airplane, but train version!
-Getting a little off-track

East Carolina University

"So the Grimm brothers brought that back in...(30 second pause)...I'm sorry, I was thinking about Justin Timeberlake bringing sexy back."
-Professor Smith, drifting into pop culture reflection

East Carolina University
Syndicate content