Top Ten Reasons to Panic about Putin

Okay, I'm going to admit something to you now that might get me quite literally killed: I am highly disturbed by Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin's bizarre acts of trying to prove his manliness! There, I said it, so if you never hear from me again please send help, police, SWAT, CIA, hell, maybe you should just send the entire U.S. military.

Is it just me or is Putin not only odd, but also seemingly mental enough to do something really dramatic just to prove that he can? That "out to prove I'm a manly badass" type of attitude is just the kind of thing that starts wars, gets people killed, and causes other pointless acts of mindless destruction in the world. Don't worry, I'm not going to bore you with Russian politics or questionable foreign policy. No, rather, I want to talk about some of the weird ass things that make me cringe in total confusion and give me pause about Putin.

Here are ten things that keep me up at night about Putin and make me want to denounce my partial Russian heritage. Yup that's right, you don't get a name like Andrei Nikolai Trostel without some distant blood ties to the motherland. However, even though I do get random phone calls in Russian, stray Russian catalogs, and the occasional dazed and confused misdirected Russian bride at my house, doesn't mean I have any allegiance to Russia, USSR, CCCP, The Soviet Union, The Russian Federation, or whatever the hell it is being called this least no allegiance that can be proven that is.

10. Putin It to the Gymnast

Putin's wife and girlfriend
Putin out his wife: Lyudmila Putin (top) for Alina Kabaeva (bottom)
This isn't really a huge shocker or eyebrow raiser but it does demonstrate a typical middle-aged man's need to feel super manly by making poor decision in one's life. Currently, this hasn't been confirmed, but one thing is for sure, Putin definitely wants to come off as the 50-year-old playboy of the Russian world. His desire to become Pimp President/Prime Minister Poontang Putin and to appear all manly in his middle age is definitely not a combination that leads to sound choices. I know that most of you probably won't agree with me that ditching a 50-year-old/flight attendant/linguist/mother of two...for a twentysomething/gymnast/member of parliament/racy model is a poor life decision, but trust me, it's totally a prick move.

9. Putin the Cagey in KGB

Putin in the KGB
I will poison you if you type another P word!
Putin was part of the KGB from the period of 1975-1991, which probably tells you that for the period of 16 years he performed some shit that we aren't supposed to be privy to. During his time in the KGB he monitored foreign people, combated political dissent, posed and paroled as a police officer, was positioned in East Germany, and maintained proper surveillance on the pupils of the Leningrad State University. Needless to say, this person has his privileged secrets and he knows how to preserve them, which is possibly a problem.

8. Putin the Bomb in Bomber

Putin in a fighter jet
Picture this, Putin the Pilot.
Okay I'm not gonna lie, I would want to take a ride in a jet too if I were president and commander of the military. However, these televised rides in military planes are little more than presidential PR performances that come off as pompous and kind of pathetic. So you rode in a fighter jet and a bomber, does that mean you're any more qualified as a leader? No, all it means is that you care more about your image than spending time doing good for your country. Anyone THAT concerned with their public image of manhood gives me great pause because invariably they end up doing something really stupid just to prove they have the balls to do it.

7. Putin It Underwater

Putin in a submarine
Putin it about a mile down.
Putin dived to the bottom of the world's largest and deepest body of fresh water, Lake Baikal, in a Mir-1 mini-submarine. When asked by journalists whether he intends to visit the International Space Station (ISS) for his next adventure, he told the journalist that he has more things to do in Earth than in space. Seriously Putin, we get it, you want to be seen as a total badass! In reality though, you come off as someone who seriously has something to prove which is precisely why you make me really uncomfortable. Is it just me or does this submarine photo remind you of a comical Monty Python skit or something?

6. Putin on the Hits

Vladimir Putin showed his support on national television for rap music and break dancing while wearing the latest in rap attire: a turtleneck sweater and jacket...not quite Putin on the Ritz! He stood there amongst the young white Russians (no, not the drink) like a freakin' statue in the most uncasual, unhip manner imaginable. He then went on stage to present awards to the participants in "Battle for Respect," a hip-hop music contest run by Muz TV, a Russian rival to MTV. It's almost too weird to imagine. Fortunately, there's video of it. One word: awkward!

5. Putin It All Out There

Putin without his shirt on in several poses outdoors
Pointless Putin Pecks
On more than one occasion, Putin made sure the cameras captured him shirtless in all his manly man man-ness. Am I the only one who's eyes burn with pain when I see photos of world leaders with their shirts off? Why do they keep doing these kinds of photo-ops? They certainly don't inspire me to trust their judgment, they only make me question it on multiple levels. Putin, please put away the pointless pecks, you're preposterous!

4. Putin Down a Tiger

Putin carrying a tranquilizer gun.
Putin it to another tigress!
While on a visit to a national park to observe how animals are monitored, a rare Ussuri tiger broke free, threatening those in its immediate vicinity. Putin reportedly leapt to action, grabbing a nearby tranquilizer gun (that just happen to be there) and shot the creature before it could maul a television camera crew. Afterward, Putin stroked the animal's cheek, and said, "She'll remember us." He helped take measurements of the animal and then kissed the big cat while saying "goodbye." A month later Putin received a baby Ussuri tiger cub as a present for his 56th birthday but he refuses to say who gave him the cub. I swear, I can't make this bullshit up if I tried!

3. Putin It to a Whale

Putin swimming like a monster
Putin it to Nessie may be messy.
During a trip to Russia's Far East, Putin donned a wet suit and waded into the Pacific Ocean, where he attached a satellite tracking tag to a whale in order to research the whale's migration pattern. Putin patted the whale and said "don't be angry" before helping scientists release her into the sea. Reportedly, his next stop is Loch Ness, where he plans on taking that big bitch Nessie down too!

2. Putin You Down on the Mat

Putin doing Judo for his DVD
Putin down the Pueriles!
Putin is not only a Judo champion but has released his own judo DVD entitled, Let's Learn Judo with Vladimir Putin. The DVD is the product of a collaboration between Putin (a black belt) and former World and Olympic judo champion Yasuhiro Yamashita. Seriously Obama, you really need to start upping your street cred when faced with the perilous, portentous, pernicious, pestilential Putin! It is still unclear, from the images, whether Putin fights anyone other than children in this DVD, but one thing is for certain: there is nothing more disturbing than images of Putin grappling with young boys.

1. Putin It to a Little Boy

Putin kissing a 5-year-old's stomach
Putin his pucker to a prepubescent!
Actually, I spoke too soon. There IS something more disturbing than Putin grappling with young boys, and that is Putin kissing the bare stomach of a 5-year-old boy. That's right people, in case you somehow missed it, Putin stopped a small boy as he walked through the Kremlin, lifted up his shirt, and kissed his stomach. He later stated that he was prompted by a desire to "touch him like a kitten." The 5-year-old boy, identified as Nikita Konkin, was clearly stunned by the kiss, and speculation over Putin's motivation caused curious internet users to propel the issue to the top of a list of questions put to Putin in an interactive webcast.

Putin's response:

It was an unplanned meeting—people just came up and started talking to me. He seemed very independent and serious. At the same time a child is always defenseless and nice. I tell you honestly, I just wanted to touch him like a kitten and that desire of mine ended in that act. There was nothing behind it.

The media tracked down Nikita and discovered that he had refused to wash after that kiss. Nikita was quoted saying, "I just liked him [Mr. Putin] and he liked me very much. I want to be president myself."

Putin up-close scary face stare
Putin the "P" sound back in Psycho!
So you tell me, is this guy off his fucking nut or what? I'm not saying that other world leaders haven't pulled some strange shit in the past, but to me, it just seems that Vladimir Putin is a little bat shit crazy and doesn't mind if the world knows it. Imagine if Barack Obama walked up to a small boy on the street, lifted up his shirt, kissed his bare stomach, and then claimed the reason he did it was his desire to touch him like a kitten. He would be impeached and brought up on charges so fast you'd be able to clock the time it took him to be ejected from office with an egg timer.

One thing is for certain though, I bet a lot of people would pay big money to see a death match cage fight between Vladimir Putin and Chuck Norris. At the very least, you certainly have my cautious attention, Mr. Putin, and suffice it to say, I think you have some much bigger issues to deal with than world politics.

C'mon, one more:

Gavin Pitt's picture

Why are you fearful of him? Given all his tiger-tranquin', whale-wrasslin' exploits, it's clear that he's some sort of super-human god in mortal form. It's no coincidence that he looks like Dobby the House-Elf! All Hail Putin, Emperor of Earth!

You're part Russian? You know, Alex Krycek from the X FILES was one of my first major crushes... *eg*

Ace article!

Andrei Trostel's picture

Hahaha Dobby the House-Elf
It's funny because it's true.
Yup, part Russian.

To bring this article completely up to date: recently that radio-transmitter on the tiger went silent and the tagged tiger has completely vanished.

Cue eerie music: "Dun dun dun!" (<-that was the eerie music in case that wasn't clear) ;-P

Abby's picture

Serious weirdness, but some of the stuff he's done is cool...if he wasn't a world leader. Dude, that stuff is fine for rich men going through a midlife crisis (except for the stomach thing, that was just creepy) but not for someone running a country!

Yeah, yeah, exactly, you are right! And I think that he is a human-alien hybrid with.. with.. with.... yeah, with necromancer errr.. blood..! We readers have the same opinion as you! Why didn't you write anything about his twin-secret brother? People need to know! Btw, you also forgot to mention that he doesn't have any hair under his second armpit or knee or.. whatever, yeah! Yeah, thanks, bye!

BUT FFS! Haven't you people anything better to do? (apparently not I suppose..)

Andrei Trostel's picture

Well damn, now I do! Clearly, you have spent your time more wisely than I have since I haven't numbered either my armpits OR my knees! You've got me wondering though, for the last twenty minutes, which side should I start numbering from? I mean, do I start on the right because I am right handed or the left because you are supposed to count from left to right. Is this numerical as in 1..2..(nope that's all) or is this chronological, because you said "second" like you knew which one came first. This is not something to be taken lightly since I'm assuming once you do it you can't then later change it or you will confuse the hell out of people when referring to them. FFS! What the HELL have I been doing with myself writing comedy articles and bringing laughter into people's lives, when I could have been putting my body parts in numerical and/or chronological order. I'm sorry but I've got to cut this response short, because clearly I have some more important shit to do now. Thank you so much for putting things in perspective for me.

Xuan's picture

I collapsed into a fit of giggles reading this.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Thanks Xuan, I've always said that the comment section is sometimes even more funny than the articles themselves here at PIC. I guess this just proves it.

I'm not so big fan of a Putin myself, but I have to admit, he's infinitely more sane and attractive that George W Imbecile, religious nut who started a WAR because of the voices in his head (sic!!!). So americans got less right to bark at Putin image than anybody else.


Andrei Trostel's picture


Your argument of "my ex-president is more sane and attractive than your ex-president" hardly makes Putin any less bizarre. I do however agree with you that George W Imbecile is one of the bigger blemishes of America (I didn't vote for that nut). That being said, one of the bigger beauties of America is that nothing can diminish my right to bark at any wacko I see fit to.

Thus, Putin is still weird.


You arguments about Putin's "bizarriness" is more like a pure petrosyannichestvo to me. I see nothing scary in those "10 reasons". Putin is a cool guy, much more live than most of Western politicians. I like his style. Or do you prefer somebody like French minister - open pedo? Or it is about american mentality - you just like to panic and be scared about pretty much anything - from idiotic horror movie from face of russian leader? Pity you're not a complete Russian! ;-p

from idiotic horror movie from face of russian leader
from idiotic horror movie to face of russian leader

Damn, this blog is pain...

Andrei Trostel's picture


Yeah pity, then I would know how to translate the word sarcasm into Russian for you. For the record though, YES I do prefer pedophiles to be out in the open, but if you like yours incognito then I guess that speaks volumes.


yeah pity, then I would know how to translate the word sarcasm into Russian for you.
Sarcasm sound the same in both english and russian.

For the record though, YES I do prefer pedophiles to be out in the open, but if you like yours incognito then I guess that speaks volumes.
General Pedofinder detected. ;)

Andrei Trostel's picture


Oh good! I'm glad sarcasm is the same in both languages...that way I don't have to translate this.

"By the powers invested in me by PIC I pronounce you just as whack as Putin for even watching Monkey Dust!"


You americans should watch MD every day, maybe it will cure your mania to see pedo in everyone and everything! ;-p

Andrei Trostel's picture

Hahaha, You Russians should STOP watching Monkey Dust, maybe it will cure you of thinking that kissing random little boys on the stomach is normal. ;-P

Maybe 1/100000 Russians ever watched MD, because it was never aired in Russia. ;)

Kissing little boy in stomach in Russia is normal. In USA is not.
Guess why? Cuz americans are sick nation. I realized that when they find pedophilia in Totoro (!!!).

Andrei Trostel's picture

Point in Case


typical views of narrow-minded americans, who have phobias of anything and everything which could be slightly different to their perverted and sick culture (if you can call it culture!) lol they think other nations are as sick and twisted as they are lol so no suprise there with the article. And I doubt you're even partly russian, if you don't know anything about its culture and people.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Two words:

Pussy Riot

Pravoslavie, Samoderjavie, Narodnost!

Andrei Trostel's picture

Alyokhina, Tolokonnikova, Samutsevich!


Pokaites! Pokaites!
Ibo gryadet!

Andrei Trostel's picture

Vladimir Putin is scared of a group of non-violent young women.

Pussy Riot Putin

Andrei Trostel's picture

I think this is probably his nativity scene.


and by the way, number 10 on your list was a complete internet rumour, which never became a fact.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Oh you have seen through my sarcastic, humor website column with cultural understanding and insults to my heritage. Wait...actually, No. Instead you just demonstrated that you need to read more carefully, because I said, "Currently, this hasn't been confirmed" in number 10. You also demonstrated nicely that Russians have little or NO sense of humor about things, which is just one of the many reasons I mock the parts of me that are indeed Russian, because I, unlike you, are able to laugh at myself.

Andrei Trostel,
I bet you are very afraid of Vladimir Putin because you don't know other cultures except your own. Your usa is like 300 years old country and is mixed up almost with every nationality of the world. For you its normal to do some shit, but in other nation its not. You and your people accept only that traditions which are ok for British culture. My point is that you are very young country and that you have no right to judge other based on your mentality. Hey, what would world be if we were all the same? ;)
And stop bulling my brother Russian here.
Kosovo is Serbia!

Andrei Trostel's picture

"For you its normal to do some shit, but in other nation its not."
Maybe if you weren't so anal retentive and laughed at sarcastic comedy articles, a little more, then it would be normal for you to do some shit too.


Problem is, you humor is pretty dumb. But Petrosyan approves it!

Andrei Trostel's picture

Let the record show that the guy who endorses Monkey Dust just called my humor dumb. How will I ever sleep at night now?!

guy who endorses Monkey Dust
"EEEEE! Wrong guess, pal!" (c) Die Hard
I never seen single episode of MD.

BTW, Petrosyan loves you.

Andrei Trostel's picture

You quote Monkey Dust and reference it, but don't watch it? Ironically that makes your credibility plummet even further. ;-P

Petrosyan? The comedian or the kick boxer? Both by the way of Armenian descent. Suppose it doesn't matter, but I am curious why you keep mentioning him?

You quote Monkey Dust and reference it, but don't watch it
You're sure DUMB. "General Pedofinder" became a mem in Runet (Russian Internet) long ago, and I begin to use it long before I found about MD.

It's ideal mem for ridiculing idiots who see pedophiles everywhere.

Petrosyan? The comedian or the kick boxer?
Begin to lurk, kid.
>>>В русских интернетах слово Петросян превратилось в оскорбление, намекающее на то, что попытка пошутить провалилась, или что шутка была слишком старой или слишком очевидной.<<<
Hope your Russian good enough to read that. It's very educative.

Andrei Trostel's picture


>>>In Russian internet the word Petrosyan turned into an insult, suggesting that an attempt to make a joke failed, or that the joke was too old or too obvious.<<<

Well you are right about one thing, Vladimir Putin is an obvious old joke at best. Being an obvious old joke is part of what makes him so ridiculous.


Don't take the bread out of Petrosyan's mouth!

Andrei Trostel's picture


These esoteric statements are less insulting and more demonstrative that you are simply high when you comment.

Don't take the bread out of Petrosyan's mouth???

um...yeah, I won't be losing any sleep over that one either.

Seriously though, I'd like to hear some of the opinions of the other Russians. Is this actually a hilarious insult or is this guy just as weird as Putin? It is the equivalent of me saying something like, "Rodney Dangerfield is going hungry." If that is a hilarious insult to you guys then Forfeit is going a long way to prove my point, about your sense of humor. I refuse to believe that Russians are THAT humorless, especially since I have known quite a few who made me laugh. However, it would explain why everyone is getting so bent out of shape about this ridiculous humor article about Putin.


You Americans kiss your kids in the mouth, that's disgusting and sick! Reason: it's not healthy and its very sick if you are looking from my angle of view. That was my point.
Vladimir Putin is a strong leader who helped Russia and made her stronger. I love Russia, Russians are like born brothers to Serbs.
p.s. Sry for my bad english, I'm still learning ;)

Andrei Trostel's picture

Serbian Hero, (and yes, I am curious if you wear a cape and tights for that title?)

Haha, It isn't like American's are tonguing their kids over here or something, although, I agree with you that kids are little germ bombs. I don't have a problem with Putin kissing HIS kids (in a normal, loving, parental fashion of course). I just think it is a bit odd to kiss a total stranger's kid, on the stomach, as you just happen to be walking by him and then proclaim you wanted to "touch him like a kitten" or that "a child is always defenseless and nice". Um...CREEPY!!!
I don't care how strong a leader anyone is or how much you do for a country, Russia or otherwise. If you are going to put on big macho media attention displays and act really strange then I am going to make fun of you, indiscriminately. Some of you think this is an America vs. Russia thing. On the contrary, our leaders have been just as fucked up and crazy as anyone's, if not more so, and I will freely admit that and make fun of them indiscriminately too. George W. Bush was a Fucking Grade A Whackamole and also pulled some of the same manly bullshit that Putin pulled, what with the flying in jets and large displays of small penis syndrome. In fact, I will easily offer up that Bush was even MORE fucking nuts than Putin ever was, with his unnecessary manly displays, coughIraqcough! Let's not make this a USA vs. You, cultural or nationalistic situation and just laugh at people's ridiculous antics for what they are. I know plenty of Russians who think Putin is totally weird and I know even more American's who think our leaders are even more weird.

I am just calling a spade a spade and a duck a duck...and Putin is quite an odd little duck. Beyond that, if you are all so hard for Putin, why not give him a call? I'm sure he would be more than willing to kiss you and touch you like a little defenseless kitten.


I guess you're right, I thought that article was like USA vs Russia but was wrong. I apologize.
I'm not hard for Putin or Russia, just wanted to protect my russian brothers in this article.
p.s. I can't call him, I don't have his phone number xD

Andrei Trostel's picture

No worries.
Hey with Putin's ego, I'm sure he reads everything on the internet about himself. He'll probably call you, if he wants to touch you like a defenseless kitten. ;-P

whatever... -_-

Andrei Trostel's picture

Haha If I ever hear from him I'll let him know that you weren't totally against the idea then. So Serbian never answered the tights and cape question. However, I always wanted to ask a super hero a couple of questions. For instance...the whole signal thing, (think bat signal) how does that work on cloudless days? Do you have a double headed eagle crown signal to contact you, or in this day and age do you just get texts? Also, Serbia was once ruled by the Ottoman empire and you guys eventually went to war over it. So do people in the Republic of Serbia ONLY have coffee tables now and reject the usage of ottomans altogether? Just some things I have always wondered.

Why did you change your name from Petrosyan to Trostel?

Andrei Trostel's picture

Rodney Dangerfield is going hungry.


Unlike you, I know who I am, who were my ancestors 1.5 thousand years ago, speak my mother's land language (Serbian) and don't have problem with my identity.
My view of hero is like heroic man or woman who has no fear of fighting, not some marvel comic guys in tights and cape.
Double headed eagle on Serbian flag (which you mark) is very old heraldic symbol, one of the oldest symbols in Europe. Don't need to wright how old (young) are the states you live in and your one headed eagle.
Yes, we were under the Ottoman rule for 500 years, and we fought for our freedom and won. Liberation war is honored and holy war just like against US and NATO was bombing us during the 1999.

There are not only coffee tables in Serbia.

Andrei Trostel's picture

HAHA I love how you answer the last question so concisely.
"There are not only coffee tables in Serbia." <-Like I was actually serious or something. HAHA!!!

Hey I have something new for you to read:


You Americans kiss your kids in the mouth, that's disgusting and sick! Reason: it's not healthy and its very sick if you are looking from my angle of view. That was my point.
Vladimir Putin is a strong leader who helped Russia and made her stronger. I love Russia, Russians are like born brothers to Serbs.
p.s. Sry for my bad english, I'm still learning ;)

Oh, I now got a sense of foreboding! When that nasty and rude "RUSe" will nuke that nude "abU.S.e", it would be like a demon blasting an apostate: a dragon sickle tail casting down a third of the fifty filthy, haughty candleflames.

Better wake up, everybody! Either your redemption or destruction draws nigh. Seek out the shelter under the wings of The Mighty Eagle. Or, much better, drill your wings to soar up high so not to be caught unawares. To God be the Glory; the Glory in His Son will soon be manifested through all eternity, The One Lord and Christ, Jesus.

First, come out of the "City of Angels" you who know in spirit who Sodom is nowadays, for the quivering wanton waters from the ancient Deluge will march inward to strip off the scanty, spangled skirt she brazenly don with. Then, the bear will be able to trample down the New Land like ash piles, to stand on it and roar up proud: Yet, his throat will bare his vulnerability to the fangs of his traitor coiling dragon pal, the formidable usurper coming out of a sea so feigned as "the peace bringer".

Andrei Trostel's picture

Dude, you're in the wrong article.
The fucktard nut jobs are over in this one:

Don't worry about it though, it is easy to get lost around here. I hope you find your way.


Dude, please read my comment carefully. I was referring to RUSSIA (RUSe, demon, dragon sickle tail, bear), USA (abU.S.e, apostate, fifty candleflames, New Land), Holy Spirit (The Mighty Eagle), Los Angeles (City of Angels, Sodom), China (traitor coiling dragon pal, usurper), and Pacific Ocean (the peace bringer).

Don't you know that Los Angeles, California would be submerged into the sea after the San Andreas Fault Quake and Mega Tsunami? Come on, listen to the news. You cannot refute the science behind it, granting that you do not believe the Bible prophesies.

The previous post is in response to the eminent troubles ahead by observing the glaring signals Putin flashes to the whole wide world (www or ww3).


Andrei Trostel's picture

Haha, I got it the first time Julius, it's cute, but you are no word ninja. Your comment still came off as a little bizarre and was tainted by the rantings of a religious person who is coo coo for cocoa puffs. My reply still stands. I figured since you follow blindly, so easily, that I would simply lead you like a sheep to all the other religious wackos. No offense meant, I just wanted you to feel more comfortable and at home around here, that's all.

you're a fool

Andrei Trostel's picture

I guess that would explain the humor column then.

Oh, my god! You are such a clever and funny guy! I was laughing my *** off! I love Putin -- he gives us so many great quotes, whether he's talking about stringing a political opponent up by his balls or applauding the Israeli politician for the number of women he was able to rape, etc., etc.. I really do love the guy. He has a personality that's bigger than life, and your list succinctly demonstrates why he's the most interesting politician on the planet. I just love the fact that this guy can wrestle with tigers, swim in an arctic lake, and parade around barechested and then turn around and bitch-slap an oligarch for refusing to pay his workers! I was wondering who was going to step up and entertain us after Michael Jackson's death, but now I know Putin is king of the world. Great writing! I look forward to more of your dark satire -- dark humor which is shared by Putin who is reported to have once said (after listening to a report that his wife called him a vampire who sucked the life out of you) that anyone who could live with her for 3 weeks deserved a medal!

Great job.

Andrei Trostel's picture

I'm glad you could appreciate the humor of it all, because it really is pretty hilarious when you look at it all at once.
Thank you for reading and commenting.

Ya right. You are talkin about "Vlad" here when the biggest freak ever i.e. GEORGE W. BUSH gets to hump his wife in texas. "Vlad" is the GREATEST president/prime minister ever..!!!

Andrei Trostel's picture

"when the biggest freak ever i.e. GEORGE W. BUSH gets to hump his wife in texas." <-???? Are you advocating no humping laws for Texas or something?

(cue music)
The stars at night,
Are big and bright,
But there's no humping in Texas!

The prairie sky
Is wide and high,
But there's no humping in Texas!

The sage in bloom
Is like perfume,
But there's no humping in Texas!

Reminds me of,
The one I love,
Who I can't hump in Texas!

The coyotes wail,
Along the trail,
Because they can't hump in Texas!

The rabbits rush,
Around the brush,
But they can't hump in Texas!

The cowboys cry,
But they can't hump in Texas!

The dogies bawl,
And bawl and bawl,
Because they can't hump in Texas!
(end music)

I wonder how many of you will now think of this the next time you hear this song.

Andrei Trostel's picture

"Thousands rally in Russia against Putin"
Anyone have any thoughts about all this?

Gavin Pitt's picture

... I think it means that several thousand skeletons are going to be buried in Putin's backyard or crawlspace *g*

Andrei, it only means that such economically-gripped Russia is due to strike lavish U.S. territories and occupy them should a U.S.-government-debilitating catastrophes--such as the coming west-coast earthquakes and tsunamis--would present themselves an opportunity for such enormous military power to strike victorious, by raising paramilitary units of cash-strapped nationals with promises of sure and humongous war-booty.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Julius, I was more thinking along the lines that even some people in Russia don't think Putin is all that great. Just like any other leader in ANY country there are always people who can see their leaders faults and are thus able to laugh at comedy directed at them. People make it a point to mock world leaders since they are in the public eye and there is so much material to use on them for laughter. We do it with our ridiculous leaders here in the U.S. and other countries do it with their leaders, so Russia is perfectly capable of doing it as well. ;)

Hmmm! Two bombings in Moscow's world-class subway today! This scenario reminds me of the 911 inside job of top US gov't agencies before the Afghan and Iraq wars to moderate wealth- and power-shifts issues. Woefully, this latest incident would lead to struggles for illusorily all-important dominion, with the US and its allies heading toward the losing end.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Yeah I read that in the news today.
Very sad that all those people died.
Nothing funny about that.

Putin is god. i wish i could have his phone number

Gavin Pitt's picture


Putin's number: 1-800-IMUSTBREAKU

Did you say this with an accent in your head? I did, except out loud. and a lot of spit came out.

Andrei Trostel's picture

I think Gavin was going for a Rocky IV reference with, "I must break you."

Although that movie has a very U.S.A. vs. Russia theme. Despite what you have all assumed about me, I have nothing against Russia. This article is just a comedy article about Putin and how ridiculous he is. As I have stated time and time again, U.S. leaders aren't any less ridiculous and I make fun of them all equally.

This article is just a comedy article about Putin and how ridiculous he is.

Be careful, kid, don't die laughting.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Wow, you really have a hard-on for Vladimir Putin, don't you Fornit?
Sounds to me like you are the one jealous of Nikita Konkin.




Andrei Trostel's picture

Let the record show that "Fap-fap-fap" is supposed to be the sound of Fornit masturbating Putin.


However, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.


What a strange article above!
Does this guy have nothing better to do then discuss leader of other country in this way.
And If I ask what kind of harm Putin made to US and specially to Andrei Trostel, for he spends his time on this writing these articles, I believe there will be no clear answer.
Putins only guilt, from US points of view, that he appeared to be stronger then Elthzin and refused to be manipulated by US, and made country stronger and politically independent from US. Because of this West mass media flooded with speculation about Putin and about his being ex officer KGB. And then as the result guys like Trostel can not sleep at night.
It is incredible for US that Russia has natural recourses and making independent international policy ( do you still believe that war in IRAK is about finding nuclear bomb or helping democracy up ?)
You can write any kind of dirt in your article but more then 60 % of people support him, for country is booming after 90th , and political power of oligarchs was limited, pensions and salaries step by step rising.
Concerning which countries policy is doubtful is big question now.
For US monopolized the word democracy to use it like political tool. It is like in medieval catholic church monopolized Jesus Christ name to get power and to have new lands in Africa and Asia.
To see and feel, to be able to watch these things you should live outside of US.
US can support any kind of authoritarian leadership, and even dictatorship, if this dictator abides by American political interest about recourses or military base deployment, and they will never say a thing about country being not enough democratic . Saddam was stupid.
Do you remember Ronald Regan words : “Samosa is Rascal , but he is our rascal and we will protect him”
To say about KGB, as it refers to Putin, - of coarse it was sinful organisation, but exactly as sinful as American CIA – regime changes in South America, active interfering in many countries an so on.
And for today it is big question which country to be more afraid of . USSR interfered in East Europe, US in South America and South East Asia. If some politician still speculate that USSR brought tanks in PRAGUE , but at the same time they forget that Vietnamese and Lao peasants still unmining their fields for agricultural needs.
USSR is no more, Russia doesn’t wage war in different parts of the world. US military presence in Irak and Afganistan still. Iran is awaiting.

Andrei Trostel's picture

A strange and funny article for a strange and funny leader from a strange and funny writer. It doesn't get much clearer than that. As for all the rest I am just going to, sure. Whatever.

um...yeah, sure. Whatever??
This is your answer?? um...yeah, sure. Whatever?? Everything he said was 100% correct, and your answer is um...yeah, sure. Whatever?? WTF!? This is not comedy.. This is bashing of something you don't understand.. So, you're half russian, so you understand life and culture of Russia and Europe, and ex-communist countries? No, you don't! And don't pretend like you do. He was kissing a child, he went fishing, he went hunting, he can fly a fighter-jet (yeah, you were wrong, HE was flying it, he wasn't beeing flown in it). These are qualities to be afraid of? OMG! He knows judo?? I don't know.. Probably the news should be: Putin ate half a McDonalds, Putin didn't sign Kyoto protocol. Putin ordered attack on Iraq, Putin said: no free health-care, etc. for you to be satisfied with.. Really?? I only have one comment:
um...yeah, sure. Whatever??

Andrei Trostel's picture

Haha I love how bent out of shape you all are getting over this. I also love how you keep making this a U.S. vs. Russia thing. I said it before and I'll say it again, our leaders are just as bat shit crazy and ridiculous as Putin and I regularly make fun of them too. Bush was a fucking wacko and I didn't vote for him either time. People, this is a comedy website, not a fucking U.N. negotiation. Your anger and strife over this ridiculous comedy article, about a ridiculous comical man, is the equivalent to watching stand up comedy and getting pissed off that a joke was made. I admire your passion, but I pity your inability to recognize sarcasm, puns, humor and satire. If nothing else, you are going a long long way to demonstrate a complete lack of Russian humor, which I know for a fact isn't even remotely true. If you really think this article is serious and that I am losing sleep over a fear of Putin then you are even more ridiculous than Putin's pathetic, media whore, displays for attention. Russians have a great sense of humor and I dare say even Putin would crack up at this article. So knock it off, you are giving Russians (with a sense of humor) a bad name with your sad display of pissing and moaning.

you make fun of putin but lets look at your president that cant speak his own language, looks like an idiot 90 percent of the time and cant do anything close to what putin did for russian GW Bush

Andrei Trostel's picture

Agreed. Wait, what is your point? Are you saying because Bush was an idiot, that this fact somehow makes Putin less ridiculous in all his media antics? Because it doesn't in the least. I love how everyone reads this article as some sort of comparison. This was never an ours versus yours comparison. It was just Putin is weird...period. I could write an article about Bush as well, but my editor has a word limit and that article would go on for days and days. :P

Don't assume because I make fun of Putin that I am saying ANYTHING about our leaders who are easily just as ridiculous. Politicians in general are pretty ridiculous and in case it escaped your attention they are often the focus of satirical writing and comedy. ALL OF THEM, INDISCRIMINATELY!


you make fun of putin but lets look at your president that cant speak his own language, looks like an idiot 90 percent of the time and cant do anything close to what putin did for russian GW Bush

Andrei Trostel's picture

Agreed, but I didn't vote for him...either time. I make fun of him almost as much a Putin.

André, I think you're jealous of Nikita Konkin. I'll bet no world leader would kiss YOU on your tummy.
You appear to be a miserable hater. Very American.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Not for nothing, but I am very grateful that no world leader would kiss me on my tummy, because that is really fucking weird. I mean who would do that?! Oh right, Putin.

Haha, miserable hater? You appear to know nothing about me or Americans for that matter. Here, let me help you out.

but I am very grateful that no world leader would kiss me on my tummy, because that is really fucking weird
Kid, don't worry so much about your precious virginity, you gonna lose it someday anyway. ;)

Andrei Trostel's picture

Haha first of all, that day was long ago. Second, are you suggesting that virgins around the world should let old creepy men like Putin molest them, because they are going to lose their virginity someday anyway? That's great Fornit, way to come of as a completely normal person. Oh wait...never mind. You didn't.


are you suggesting that virgins around the world should let old creepy men like Putin molest them
Actually, no. Vladimir Vladimirovich(TM) Putin prefer womans. (He's so old-fashioned from American's point of view!)
So stop shaking, kid, you are safe. And you may get out from under you bed as well.

Andrei Trostel's picture

All evidence to the contrary if he is kissing little boys on the stomach.


And if I'm pet a cat - I'm zoophile?
Life is scary!!!

Andrei Trostel's picture

I'm sorry, did you just equate kissing another person's child on the stomach, to petting a cat? That's funny since Putin said the same thing, "I just wanted to touch him like a kitten".

Wait Fornit, ARE you Vladimir Putin?! Is that why you are defending him with such fervor, because honestly if someone talked shit about Bush or Obama I don't think I would even remotely give a shit. What other explanation could there be other than you either actually ARE Putin, or you want to pet him like a kitten yourself, which apparently in Russia means making out with his stomach. HAHA!

Petting a cat and kissing someone else's kid on the stomach is NOT the same thing. You don't undress another person's child and put your mouth on them...PERIOD! It is just creepy! The fact that someone would WANT to or have the "DESIRE" to is just weird and speaks to their mental state. I mean he didn't pat him on the head (like a kitten) or do anything that any normal person would do to a kitten.

To answer your question though, YES if you want to make out with kittens...then yeah you are a zoophile.



I like Putin. He is the only real powerful political figure in the world.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Yes, evidenced by Russia's complete and total world domination...oh wait...on second thought, no.

According to the last events in the world news, Darth Pu is the only one who's brain was not eaten by Awakened One.

Andrei Trostel's picture

I guess that is what you get for reading livejournals for the world news.


Actually, I made that conclusion while reading "official" news sites.

Andrei Trostel's picture

So you admit that your livejournal news is unofficial.
Good, I'm glad we finally agree on that.


what country is at war?better putin than bush or obama.

Andrei Trostel's picture

So you support Gaddafi slaughtering all his people?
That' great.
Way to stand for something noble.
And they say Americans are self centered.
(rolls eyes)

"Gaddafi slaughtering all his people" is same BS like "Saddam has lots of WMD". You still learned nothing about Fashington's propaganda style?

Andrei Trostel's picture

Haha propaganda?! Maybe it escaped your attention but it is the Libyan people who are fighting against him first and foremost and he is going on television saying he will slaughter everyone who opposes him (i.e. his own people). That's hardly propaganda when it comes from his own lips to his own people. Nice try though Fornit.

You head is full of BS. I have to do some 'likbez'.
Read interview with Gaddafi here:

Figaro: Выступая во вторник, вы пообещали «раздавить» очаги сопротивления. Это означает, что вы готовы взять страну под контроль любой ценой, не считаясь с человеческими жертвами?

Полковник Муаммар Каддафи: Я такого не говорил. Все, что я хотел сказать, так это то, что против ливийского народа существует заговор. И каким бы этот заговор ни был – заговор империалистов, «Аль-Каиды» или какой-либо еще – ливийский народ должен его раздавить.

And read about TRIBALISM, to stop sprout BS about "Libyan people rebels against cruel dictator". You are clueless about situation and background in Libya, you're repeating propaganda BS from USA's Department of Truth.

Бенгази. Змеиное гнездо "Аль-Каиды"
Ливийское восстание, таким образом, является токсической смесью ненависти к Каддафи, крайней формы исламского фундаментализма и ярким выражением африканского трайбализма. Участие в подобном мероприятии даже "Аль-Каиды" не представляется хорошо продуманным ходом. Но что делает там Запад?

It's Israel site, it's hardly a Russia's propaganda (which is absolutely impotent, BTW).
Also, read this:

Но то, что ситуация в Ливии никак и нигде не совпадает с египетской или тунисской - факт. И то, что большая кровь сегодня льется во имя того, чтобы завтра она не полилась водопадами - тоже факт. Поэтому не стоит равнять Ливию и Муамара с тем же Тунисом и Египтом и с Бен Али и Мубараком. Это небо и земля. Муамар на сегодня - единственный скрепляющий страну фактор.

If you will remove Gaddafi from equation - everything will fall apart like card tower. Like in Iraq, like in Afganistan.

And what's going on now in Libya - is look like a Kafka book. USA+NATO have no frigging idea what they need to do, they have no clear and generally accepted plans, no solid command, no idea who they are protecting exactly, they have no clear picture of situation below, on ground; everything is in fog of war. This is most ridiculous military operation in latest history.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Haha! I find it ironic that you are mentioning "likbez" and "BS from USA's Department of Truth" especially since you have no idea where I am getting my news information (again showing how bigoted you are since it isn't even from a US source, which you just assumed being blinded with American bigoted hatred), but you are getting your information from people's livejournals for crying out loud!
That's hilarious!
I could have a livejournal where I state that the whole thing was started by psychedelic bunnies!
Best laugh I've had all day.
Thanks for that Fornit.


especially since you have no idea where I am getting my news information
You are repeating USA propaganda cliche like a parrot. So it's not a bit of difference if you news source is not from US.

but you are getting your information from people's livejournals for crying out loud!
That was blogs from the people who know something about Libya. And it's much better than stream of foul BS, often contradictory, from "world news sources". Your own political bosses, like Hillary, often praise blogs as source of info and news from first hand, which can beat "official" news sources.

Petition of Russian medics, who work in Libya and witness all that bloody mess is not enough for you?

Andrei Trostel's picture

OH! It is from people's blogs! Well that makes it TOTALLY legit then as a news source.
HAHA! Hey does that make this comedic and totally ridiculous article about Putin 100% accurate then? Oh good, I guess we can end all this blather. :P

Wait so it WAS a petition to the Russian leaders then? What were these Russian medics asking of their Russian leaders if not to use their veto power? Enlighten us on what it actually said then since, as it may have escaped you through your blind rage that, no one here likely speaks Russian.

Please...translate this part for us:

"Поэтому мы настоятельно просим, чтобы Россия использовала свое право «вето», право, заработанное миллионами жизней советских людей во время Второй Мировой войны, чтобы ОСТАНОВИТЬ АГРЕССИЮ против суверенного государства, добиться НЕМЕДЛЕННОГО ПРЕКРАЩЕНИЯ АМЕРИКАНСКИХ И НАТОВСКИХ БОМБАРДИРОВОК и потребовать введения войск ООН в зону конфликта в Ливии."

Thanks Fornit.


Well that makes it TOTALLY legit then as a news source.
What they are writting is much more logical than contradicting BS from "world news".
Again, I don't saying you should trust some blog posting. Read ALL sources, except obvious contradicting BS and gossip, and generate your own opinion.

Hey does that make this comedic and totally ridiculous article about Putin 100% accurate then?
Are you talking about Lurkmore? It's a collection of mems and LULZ, so read it JUST 4 LULZ. ;) Your entire posting here is "lulz about Put In", isn't it?

Поэтому мы настоятельно просим, чтобы Россия использовала свое право «вето»
Interesting. This petition was written definitely after that shameful voting in UN, so train has already left, what they are hoping for? Second voting, where Russia will use veto? Not a chance, USA paid Russia very well to avoid that. So I don't really understand those people. Their only chance to make a proof of all that civilian's casualties (make video, interview with medics, photos and send it to Internet). If it will be proven that NATO hit the maternity hospital, entire invasion will be in deep shit.


Andrei Trostel's picture

"Are you talking about Lurkmore? It's a collection of mems and LULZ, so read it JUST 4 LULZ. ;) Your entire posting here is "lulz about Put In", isn't it?"

No I was talking about MY article making the point that it isn't accurate (obviously, yes just for "lulz") despite being found on the internet. Livejournals aren't any more accurate than this website. You see what I am saying now?

Поэтому мы настоятельно просим, чтобы Россия использовала свое право «вето»

"Interesting. This petition was written definitely after that shameful voting in UN, so train has already left, what they are hoping for? Second voting, where Russia will use veto? Not a chance, USA paid Russia very well to avoid that. So I don't really understand those people."

Maybe you shouldn't be SO QUICK to criticize people for not being able to read ("OMFG, you can't read") when clearly you didn't even read it. HAHA!


Бомбы и ракеты поразили ЖИЛЫЕ дома и упали рядом с больницей. В здании Кардиологического центра были выбиты стекла, а в здании родильного отделения для рожениц с заболеваниями сердца рухнула стена и часть кровли. Результатом этого стало десять выкидышей, часть новорожденных детей погибла, женщины находятся в реанимации, врачи борются за их жизнь. Мы и наши коллеги работаем без выходных, чтобы спасти людей. Следствием попадания бомб и ракет в жилые здания стали десятки убитых и раненых, которых оперируют и реанимируют сейчас наши медики. Такого количества раненых и убитых, как за один сегодняшний день, не было за все время беспорядков в Ливии. И это называется «защитой гражданского населения»?!
Try to translate this, kid.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Yeah it is a letter/petition asking that Russia use it's veto power against what is going on in Libya and pointing out (as most anti-American propaganda always does) that civilians are dying. Again Fornit, maybe it escaped your attention but civilians were dying when Gaddafi was killing them also. We were ASKED to help and of course when we respond to the request we are the bad guys. However if we ignored the request we would also be the bad guys. Maybe you should acknowledge the fact that no matter WHAT the United States does (even when several other countries initiated it and asked for our assistance) you would still blame and hate the United States. That just makes you a closed minded bigot and no better than what people always accuse Americans of.

Oh and this argument is being waged in another article demonstrating how America is NO DIFFERENT than the rest of the world. Maybe you should go there and read the article and comment section carefully to see how the rest of the world is just a bunch of hypocrites.

As always, thanks again for your comment and dialogue Fornit.

Yeah it is a letter/petition asking that Russia use it's veto power against what is going on in Libya
OMFG, you can't read? This article is 24 March 2011, long AFTER that UN voting.
Chance to use veto long gone.

maybe it escaped your attention but civilians were dying when Gaddafi was killing them also
And there was absolutely no proof of massacres of UNARMED civilians.
ARMED mutineers are NOT civilians by definition, isn't it?

World news sites amazed me really. All news from Libya before NATO invasion were -- buzz, gossips, rumors, and direct disinformation from Al-Jazeera. Without proof, without confirmation, without video -- "we know Gaddafi eating newborn babies for dinner. Some guy named Akhmed told us about that by cellphone". And such trash and BS was on every major news agencies on the world. "Rebels storming Tripoli, they already near Gaddafi palace, dictator got few hours left to live" - I remember that. Two Gaddafi planes escaped - and suddenly it was FRENCH planes with French pilots! And such circus show go on.

We were ASKED to help
By whom? By bunch of unbeknown to anybody mutineers? Who got the authority to invite USA military force into independent country? Or you think Libya is one of your states? Your logic is one of 5 year old.

Maybe you should acknowledge the fact that no matter WHAT the United States does you would still blame and hate the United States.
Ктулху сожрал твой мозг, видимо.
Nobody would blame and hate Uncle Sam if he will simply mind his fucking business. But he seems to unable to do that. You mess with Soviet army in Afghan, 'shuravi' left - and Afghan was taken over by Taliban, monster, created by Pakistan and US special services. You invaded Afghan after 911 - and now Afghan is hell and source of world's heroin. You bomb Serbia - and now Europe has bandit and drug-dealers enclave in his heart. You removed Saddam from power and killed him - and Iraq fell apart, and was thrown into Dark Ages, all civilization in Iraq is lost. Every time Radiant Jedi fight for Justice and World Peace - and balls up everything. You are drunk mad elephant in china shop. Or my friend make even better metaphor - madman in overcrowded car, who swings around open razor and yelling about his selectness. That was USA during cretin Bush, and such is USA Today - Obama proved he's no better.


Andrei Trostel's picture

Haha no Fornit, I can't read, I'm fucking translating, because you keep posting in Russian!

Ктулху сожрал твой мозг, видимо.

Cthulu ate my brain apparently? Radiant Jedi <-WTF?!

Half the time I don't know what the fuck you are talking about, because you are ranting and raving while throwing insults and attacks while pretending like you are having an intelligent conversation. Where did you learn to debate, in a boxing ring? Have I once in my whole time dealing with you ever spout off about how much I hate Russia? No! Yet time and time again you go on these insult tirades against the United States. It kind of shows where your point of view and "emotions" are coming from...not a place of logic and thought, but rather hatred and bigotry. Again, I find that ironic since the world is constantly accusing the United States of blind aggression.

"such trash and BS was on every major news agencies on the world."

Oh so now it is the whole world's news you don't trust, but that's a reputable source for facts. HAHA!

Take a deep breath Fornit, this is a comedy website not a U.N. debate or your own personal propoganda soapbox.

Learn to laugh a little more and your blood pressure might lower just long enough to actually carry on a normal conversation that doesn't contain ranting and raving.


Haha no Fornit, I can't read, I'm fucking translating, because you keep posting in Russian!
Heh, pity I don't have adequate English sources. I hope Google Translate giving you readable translations.
But read those articles anyway. Your PoV is so simple-minded, bunch of new information can help you progress.

Cthulu ate my brain apparently?

Radiant Jedi <-WTF?!
Americans (sarcasm).

Half the time I don't know what the fuck you are talking about
Then ask, I will gladly explain.

while pretending like you are having an intelligent conversation
Oops, that's a wrong expression.
I cannot have intelligent conversation with you because you are illiterate.
"USA is center of the world, we bring everybody Freedom and Democracy (on the external load) - I hope that was trolling from you side, because if not - everything is very neglected.

Where did you learn to debate, in a boxing ring?
Russian blogsphere. It's a cruel place, boy. If you are a schoolchild ( and stating your opinion while being clueless - you will be eaten alive. Such is the Law of Jungle. ;)

Have I once in my whole time dealing with you ever spout off about how much I hate Russia?
Russia is not a 'World Cop'. Sad but true.
So it's a different consequences.

Yet time and time again you go on these insult tirades against the United States.
Criticism on USA is very hard, because entire world is paying for Uncle Sam's inadequacy.

not a place of logic and thought
Bugaga... Looks who's talking! I already said, you logic is extremely simple-minded.

Again, I find that ironic since the world is constantly accusing the United States of blind aggression.
Really? How could they? :)

Oh so now it is the whole world's news you don't trust
After "world news" shamefully screw up in Libya - yes.

but that's a reputable source for facts
"If you don't have stamp paper, write on simple paper" (C)

Take a deep breath Fornit, this is a comedy website not a U.N. debate or your own personal propoganda soapbox.
I'm not trying to "propoganda" you, just trying to make you think a little. Also I fear, that "USA patriot" - is incurable condition. Don't take that as insult - "Russian patriot" is the same shit. Uitsraor tentacles must be avoided at all cost (don't ask pls what that means ;)).

Learn to laugh a little more and your blood pressure might lower just long enough to actually carry on a normal conversation that doesn't contain ranting and raving.
I look at all that Kafkian political circus and almost laught my head off. :)


Andrei Trostel's picture

Blah blah blah esoteric reference. Blah blah blah insult to United States. Blah blah blah here look at my website entirely in Russian. Blah blah blah Insult for not being able to speak/read fluently in Russian (ironically in broken English no less). Blah blah blah more esoteric references that only Russian trolls on Russian 4chan site would understand. Blah blah blah I'm going to pretend I'm smart because I read livejournals for news. Blah blah blah Here let me start another thread doing the same thing within the same article. Blah blah blah Cathulu. Blah blah blah Explain Cathulu with Russian website not even remotely clearing anything up since we all know what Cathulu is, but it is still a random and weird statement to make. Blah blah blah You're and idiot and stupid because you're not me. Blah blah blah However, I still want to keep talking to you anyway. Blah blah blah Oh here is another Russian website that I will criticize you for later and call you illiterate for, because you can't read Russian fluently...even though I am still typing in broken English and random esoteric statements on the verge of creating a complete and total communication block. Blah blah blah You're not funny but I am. Blah blah blah Dissect your comment and talk in circles. Blah blah blah Judgments and insults to a person I've never actually met based solely on nationality, yet look at me I'm so enlightened and advanced. Blah blah blah Rinse Repeat.


Is there any more Fornit or is this all you have to offer?

Here's a question I'd greatly like you to explain Fornit:
If you hate the United States SO MUCH, exactly WHAT is it you are doing here?!
That's right, people, our little Russian troll here is in Redwood City, California!
Last time I checked, California wasn't the motherland but rather the United States!
Are you just the biggest hypocrite on the planet or what?!
Are you a U.S. citizen, or did you just come here for the better education?
Or maybe you decided to use the country's resources to further your status in life all the while spouting Anti-American horseshit. Classic!
Boy, I hope your answer is that you are here as a diplomat or peace ambassador, because frankly anything else would just confirm that you are completely and totally full of shit.



That's right, people, our little Russian troll here is in Redwood City, California!

Andrei Trostel's picture


That's funny because that is exactly where this comment reply came from again.
Want to know your IP address too?
I can't believe you denied it...that is just SO SAD!

So exactly where do you want to "pretend" to be posting from then Fornit?
Answer that?


(You'll also notice he didn't answer any of the other questions of what he is doing typical).


Trolling a schoolchild is so BOOOOOORING...
Especially an american schoolchild. Or should I write - lamerican? ;)
Kid, did you heard anything about Tor?

Andrei Trostel's picture

Yeah this is the part where you dodge questions and make shit up, because you know you've been caught in your own horseshit. I find that simply hilarious. If anyone is trolling here, it's me. You've been sucked into a comedy article about Putin, you got all emotional and angry over it while spouting and sputtering incoherently. Then when you finally get served the kill blow demonstrating what a complete hypocrite you back track and dodge questions so as to not seem like a total and complete tool.

You still haven't answered any of my questions Fornit. What are you doing here?

Are you SERIOUSLY claiming to be using a service to mask your surfing identity (although for some unknown reason you ALWAYS chose the same U.S. location...yeah that doesn't seem to add up given our conversation) and you actually expect us to believe you?!
HAHA! That's laughable.

Give it up man and just own your own shit.
I might just respect you a little more.

(From the Tor website: "For efficiency, the Tor software uses the same circuit for connections that happen within the same ten minutes or so. Later requests are given a new circuit, to keep people from linking your earlier actions to the new ones." )

Awww busted again. This is just getting pathetic at this point Fornit.


although for some unknown reason you ALWAYS chose the same U.S. location
To troll pshek is logical to use polish IP.
To troll lamerican - USA IP.
To hide the fact that you use fake IP is logical to never change it.

"For efficiency, the Tor software uses the same circuit for connections that happen within the same ten minutes or so. Later requests are given a new circuit, to keep people from linking your earlier actions to the new ones."
Lamer - is permanent condition.

And, Don Lamo, Tor is only ONE way to choose your own IP. There are tons of others.

Thereon, likbez is over. Converse with overconfident lamers and idiots is no fun.

Andrei Trostel's picture

OMG When you make up some horseshit you REALLY commit to the lie don't you?! HAHA!

Funny how you didn't say you used tons of others, but rather you said you used Tor. You only brought up others after being called out on it. (very telling!)

Fine, you want to bury yourself in your own bullshit, I have no problem with that, even though it is kind of painful to watch at this point. (still fun for me though!)

Here's what you're going to do.
Change your location.
Simple right?

I mean for someone SO technologically savvy as you claim to be this should be really easy! You have Tor and "tons of others" to choose from even. HAHA!

I mean you already admit to using a fake IP address so there is no logic in keeping the same one now (yes people, he's still using the same sad).

Your next comment should come from Nairobi Kenya.
Followed by another from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
Followed by Hong Kong, China.
And then finally Sao Paulo, Brazil where you'll stay for the remainder of our conversations.

It should be a simple matter really given your VAST knowledge of these programs.

OR you could just admit to being totally full of shit and actually answer the questions you so willingly told me you'd answer ("Then ask, I will gladly explain.")

You might actually earn some respect back instead of desperately holding onto a lie you've been totally caught in.

Oh, by the way, I'm changing your name back to "Forfeit" until you either change your location to those listed, or admit to your own horseshit...because at this point you have certainly forfeited any respect with this pathetic display.

Your move Forfeit.


Fornit's picture

Hi from Moscow, moron.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Yup, this posted from Moscow...

Fornit's picture

Hi from Irkutsk, retard.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Definitely from Irkutsk...well, you know what I mean...

Fornit's picture

Hi from Los Angeles, idiot.

Andrei Trostel's picture

OMG he can teleport? This one from Los Angeles...

Fornit's picture

Hi from Bangkok, imbecile.

Andrei Trostel's picture

One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster!
Nice profile by the way Forfeit (finally got off your ass and made one)...

Fornit's picture

Hello from Brazil, cretin.
That's enough for today.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Hmmm Itabira, Brazil is not Sao Paulo, Brazil, but I bet you got really excited to get close.

Wait for it people....

Andrei Trostel's picture

Oh man I can't believe you actually fell for that! Not only did you take the time to utilize one of those programs (who's trollin' now sucka), but you demonstrated beyond a shadow of a doubt where you actually are!

You see Forfeit, by NOT choosing the exact destinations that I provided, you clearly demonstrated that you only have the ability to pick random IP addresses with these programs (something everyone knows since they use random proxy lists to choose from), but the ego maniac that you are (and I knew you would be) you went back from your "actual" address to admire your handy work!

Where is that home? Redwood City, California, AGAIN!

If you could have picked a destination of choice, then you definitely would have picked the ones I gave you, in order to prove me wrong. The reason you didn't is because you can't just pick any...just like you can't then go BACK and pick Redwood City, California...unless that is of course your real one.


Wow, that was a lot of fun and I honestly can't believe you went through all that trouble just to prove me right in the end.

So now answer the fucking question.
If you hate America so much, what the hell are you doing here?!


Fornit's picture

You are absolutely illiterate idiot and lamer, you proved that enough times already. You don't know a shit about: VPN, proxy, anonymous proxy (free and paid one), backdoors, trojans, etc, etc. Quick reading wiki will not make you smarter - your lamerizm will only go deeper. You gave me lots of LULZ, but I have wasted enough time with you.

And, BTW, hello from Los Angeles again... same IP, same location.
Go to flea market and buy yourself a brain. Sheep's one will be good enough for you - if it will fit into your tiny brain box.

Andrei Trostel's picture

"You gave me lots of LULZ...You're boring. (Wait, which is it again?)...More insults in order to sidestep and dodge the obvious hypocrisy...blah blah blah...I'm leaving! I've wasted enough time here...but wait, one more comment and also let me create a profile too while I'm at it."


Thanks for ALL the added traffic to my article Forfeit, that was really nice of you to flail around like a maniac for awhile, drawing lots of attention here.

Your retreat AND your extreme cowardice in STILL not answering the question are duly noted.

Bye Forfeit! That is...until you reply again!


Mike Lamb's picture

I don't know about all this fancy backdoor trojan business, but I think we're overlooking the one burning question on everybody's do make your profile pic sparkle like that? Are you a wizard?

Andrei Trostel's picture

Since Forfeit isn't big on actually answering questions I'll do it for him.

It's an animated GIF file in order to make it SEEM like he is tech savvy when really it is something most eight year olds can do, but don't because it screams, "Look at me, I desperately need attention!"

Here's another question: Anyone ever wonder how small these comment boxes get? Do they eventually just become a string of letters, or do you bust out of the box shattering what little boundaries Points in Case actually have?

I believe that Vladimir Putin is just enjoying the life and the power, in the best possible way. What ordinary people don't like to go into supersonic speed? Who healthy man on any age would not to want in your arms Alina Kabaeva. Putin is just a face appears. He is wanting to show self as male . And so what! He can. As we speak in Brazil: who can, can. Who can't, shakes yourself!

Andrei Trostel's picture

I'm not sure, but I think you just advocated people cheating on their wife, because they can.

Do you want to rethink that, or let it stand and just be THAT guy?


Wow! You're the man! How do you know that I'm a lawyer? "Advocated", literally means lawyer in Portuguese. I just to advocate to the customer that pays my fees advanced. no matter whether that he is an adulterer or not, honest or dishonest, guilty or innocent. Long live to the democracy!

Andrei Trostel's picture

Paulo, you just may be the first honest lawyer I've ever met.
It's kind of refreshing actually.


Andrei Trostel's picture

Passenger: "Keep Putin the medal to the metal Vlad!"

Vladimir: "After this embarrassing stunt, I'll be Putin you in the trunk!"

How about kissing my cat in the stomach? Would that be OK? Or, would it make me somebody who likes sex with animals?
Sorry, but this is an idiotic argument.

Andrei Trostel's picture

(same response to you as the other guy who thinks touching other people's kids is the same as a cat.)

I'm sorry, did you just equate kissing another person's child on the stomach, to kissing a cat? That's funny since Putin said the same thing, "I just wanted to touch him like a kitten".

Kissing a cat and kissing someone else's kid on the stomach is NOT the same thing. You don't undress another person's child and put your mouth on them...PERIOD! It is just creepy! The fact that someone would WANT to, or have the "DESIRE" to, is just weird and speaks to their mental state. I mean he didn't pat him on the head (like a kitten) or do anything that any normal person would do to a kitten.

To answer your question though, YES if you find yourself longing to make out with your cat...then yeah you may be a zoophile.



Your young age and the fact that you most likely grew up in the U.S. explains your opinion. Only a generation ago (and for thousands of generations before that), kissing a child enywhere, except for private parts, was not unacceptable. It is still acceptable in most "normal" parts of the world, Europe included.

Please note that Europe, and in fact most countries worldwide, are culturally much older than the Unites States of America. Taking that under consideration, I may actually say with confidence that your views are "weird" and speak of the mental state of your generation greatly influenced by the ideology of the NWO. Unlike you, I remember the 1950s, 60s, 70s, 80s, .... etc. I witnessed all the changes and can see the direction in which they are leading us.

"There is a campaign under way to essentially destroy /.../ every aspect of human life and attitudes and thought that involve social solidarity." - Noam Chomsky.

We see changes that, on a scale of society, lead to the destruction of family, religion, education, nationalism, patriotism, democracy based on informed choices (read: objective and truthful media), meaningful literature, harmonious music, realistic art, and nearly every aspect of culture in which traditions, as well as independent cultural and moral values are created and preserved. These changes are more than often promoted by organizations funded by the Rockefeller or Soros foundations, and other similar sources. Demoralization is the first step towards denationalization and globalization.

Please Google this YouTube video:

Yuri Bezmenov ex KGB Psychological Warfare Techniques. Subversion & Control of Western Society 1/7

and also:

Ex-KGB Officer Yuri Bezmenov - Propaganda and Mind Control (1 of 3)

and when you watch them, ask yourself, "Does it ring a bell?"

The other conclusion coming clearly through your comments is that you are completely ignorant of other than your own cultures. This explains why Americans feel that they have the right, and indeed the duty, to go to othet parts of the world and impose their values on other nations, often with the bullets and bombs. You don't.

Not long ago in India, it was considered proper and beatiful that men masturbated in public after religious ceremonies. Perhaps it was believed that orgasm was bringing people closer to the experience of Gods. Such behavior would not be acceptable in the U.S. but it was perfectly OK in India. As you can see, it is impossible to pass judgement on cultural values and behaviours of other nations. Maybe when you grow older, learn more and widen your horisons beyond the U.S. borders, you will notice that the world does not end there and you will come to understand it.

I can only hope that you will open your mind on the opinions other than your own, although your arguments with most commentators, above, show that you believe to be the only one who knows it all and has it all right, and the one who always has to have the last word. If that's the case, then I have not much to offer you, except for congratulations.


Andrei Trostel's picture

(sniff sniff)

What's that I smell?

Is it hypocrisy?


Oh how I love the smell of hypocrisy on a nice summer day!

So let me get this straight, you think I am unwise in my ways, because I am sarcastically judging a behavior, on a comedy website, for the sole purpose of making people laugh? A behavior which you have deemed cultural, yet in the same breath you are judging me, my age, the ENTIRE country of the United States & Western society in general, which by the way, you are a part of even if you are in Canada.

You reminisce on more traditional and moral times with fondness. Times where "those colored people" had no rights, where women couldn't vote and it was seen as okay to strike a child for misbehaving. YES...moral and traditional times indeed, because who over the age of 60 appreciates progress and equality when there is bigotry and intolerance as an option to fall back on. Oh wait, no, you were for tolerance weren't you, but probably still cringe at the thought of two of those "gay fellers" wanting to marry. Your desperate clinging to the past certainly demonstrates how open minded you must indeed be. <-(That was sarcasm by the way...I feel the need to point it out since you obviously missed all the comedy and sarcasm in the article despite you claiming to be so wise and enlightened.)

You know, every time I hear an old timer lamenting the days of olde, I hear a sad person who has been left behind by society and can't understand the world anymore. It breaks my heart, it really does. I can't begin to imagine how alone you must feel.

You seem to think that throwing around Noam Chomsky quotes makes people think you are intelligent and wise, yet your comments scream of fear and intolerance of anything current, new or modern. You aren't fooling anyone, speaking about better days and the destruction of society, because no one is buying it. No one wants to return to the days of olde except for those who can't seem to navigate the current days effectively. I'm so sorry you've been left behind, but you only have yourself to blame for closing your mind to anything other than your reality, which ironically doesn't even exist anymore.

You claim to be culturally tolerant while condemning an entire culture in the same breath, all the while being too unwise to even see the hypocrisy and fear in your own words. You call for an open mind while yours is firmly closed. You judge another human being over the internet after reading a fucking comedy article on a humor website and somehow sleep at night thinking you are tolerant and open minded of others.

For the record, sir, I always have the last word here, because the last word here means people keep coming back to read the comments...nothing more. It draws traffic to the website, but go ahead and build a psychological profile of me (a person you've never even met) over something as ridiculous as web traffic. I'm sure it will help you sleep better at night as another day in the world passes you by, yet again.

As far as Americans and their closed minded ways, maybe you should open your mind a little and see what is really going on with a culture and country you obviously know nothing about.

Top 5 Reasons Americans are So Rude

Good luck Alex in your little time capsule, the world will continue to change around you, but I'm sure one day you will wake up and it will be 1950 all over again. You just have to wait for it patiently, I'm sure it will happen. Stay strong... stay the course... don't change a thing... it is obviously working well for you. <-(More sarcasm in case you missed it.)

Thanks for reading and for your comment all the same Alex. I wish you all the best.

And now down to earth. I don't know about you but I don't feel sexually excited while kissing a child. Maybe because I am normal, I am not a pedophile. Perhaps in your culture, as a result of liberation from many traditional moral values, people don't trust themselves anymore, and therefore, don't trust others.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Wait, you mean your last comment came from outer space?
Shit, well that explains some stuff Alex. HAHA! :P

Awww how cute, more culture insults from the one claiming to be SO culturally enlightened.

(sniff sniff)

Yup, there is the fresh scent of hypocrisy again....Yummy!

Alex, lighten up and learn to laugh a little in your old age.
No one likes a bitter old judgmental person crying about traditional moral values and times when you could get away with kissing other people's children and no one caring.

The fact of the matter is that the world has changed around you and now people care. Deal with it. I'm so sorry you aren't allowed to kiss other people's kids anymore without it raising some red flags, but check out this cool thing you are typing on now! Imagine how long it would have taken you to write all this shit out on a freakin' telegraph machine!

Change and progress is a good thing, buddy, try and embrace it for once.
You know...with that whole open mind that you claim to have?

Here, look at it this way...If you are missing the ability to kiss other people's children randomly then it is probably best that you aren't able to do it anymore. If kissing other people's kids randomly isn't such a big deal then there really is no reason to go on about not being able to do it anymore so much.

Hang in there big guy, you'll be okay. If you are REALLY jonesen to smooch some kid, just kiss your cat's stomach, because it is the same thing, right? Problem solved.


Of course, you have all the answers in your sleeve. Like a good magician. And you probably go around shaking hands with your friends, both men and women. And that's OK where you are - but in Iraq, for example, shaking hands with a married woman is not OK, especially if her husband is present. I don't personally support it but i respect THEIR right to have their ways. I think, you can call it tolerance. Especially that both men and women there believe that it makes sense and that they have good reasons to stick to their traditions. Ask most Iraqis today, if they appreciate your input in their culture.

It's people like you who are not respectful and not tolerant, and want to impose your ways on others, whether they want it or not. Allow me to be not tolerant and generalize - it is very typical of "modern" Americans whose history and culture starterd just yesterday, compared to other civilizations but who believe that they are on top of the world. Just as it is typical for young people to be rebelious and to question or redicule the ways of older generations. Isn't it funny that those who have the least history and life experience claim to have the most knowledge about them?

Let me tell you a secret - it is not the "progress" or technological advances, it has nothing to do with passing generations. I was like you when I was your age - and you will be like me, when you reach mine. Sad, isn't it? But that's just the way it is. If you don't believe me, wait and see. Unless by that time you are completely brainwashed by your Wolf Blitzer and websites that aim at spreading sarcasm but in fact share poor quality political propaganda.

BTW, in your replies I cannot find many arguments on the topic itself. You seem to concentrate on attacking me rather than on presenting your knowledge and opinions on the big difference between the American baby-culture and most cultures of the rest of the world. It's just like in the old marriage - where people start attacking each other personally rather that resolving an issue at hand. Unfortunately, I am not married to you - you are right, I don't support that. I think it is "weirder" than kissing a child (or the cat) on the stomach.

You want to see hypocrisy? You want to find excellent material for comedy and sarcasm? Look at your own presidents, the Senat, your House of Representatives, and your election system that is run by the corporate media and a very well organized minority. Then look at the millions of Americans who believe that there is democracy in their country. And not all of them are old like me and stuck in the old days. But, I understand, it is safer to criticize Putin, it's politically correct.

I do (sniff sniff, HAHA and all this other catroonish stuff) believe that in many respects the old days were better - and unlike you I remember them first hand and can compare them with today. If you think that today there is less rasism, hipocrisy, dishonesty, intolerance, crime and other shit than there was in "my days", then this really is a comedy website that has nothing to do with reality.

Tonight, after you brush your teeth and go to bed, try to figure out this one:
It's a good topic for a comedy website that strives in sarcasm. It shows the American-style respect for other people and their rights. It, above all, shows the Americal hypocrisy.

Nice talking to you my young adversay, it wasn't as bad as with some other young publishers from your great country. At least you know how to write properly in English, and that's a good beginning. I wish I could stay here longer and continue this debate but life goes on, you know.

It was a pleasure.

(The last word - and more traffic - are yours to explore.)

P.S. How many visitors per day does this blog have? It must be crowds, if answering every comment makes such a big and worthwhile difference for your traffic. Try to attract more readers by improving the substance of your entries rather than by using tricks. Just a free advice.

Andrei Trostel's picture

I'm sorry, did you just start a sentence with "It's people like you"?

Wow, you are one drop of drool away from shouting, "GET OFF MY LAWN YOU DAMN KIDS!"

Allow you to generalize and not be tolerant?! So you admit that you are a total hypocrite, good, I'm glad we got that straight at least. Isn't it funny that those who claim to have the most history always manage to demonstrate having the least wisdom.

BTW my reply DID carry arguments on the topic of my "knowledge and opinions on the big difference between the American baby-culture and most cultures of the rest of the world." You were just too blind by your own hypocrisy and anger to see it. Here, let me help you out and post it again for you. I wrote an entire article on the subject matter.

Top 5 Reasons Americans are So Rude

Unfortunately you aren't married to me? Huh?, I'm flattered but I'm straight. Thanks all the same though. I find it ironic that you are so against gay marriage though, since you claim to be so enlightened and tolerant of other cultures. Why do you give a shit what they do? I certainly don't. Oh, you must be one of those rare wise and learned bigots...who are tolerant and support other cultures...unless of course you don't agree with them personally and then you just find them weird. Give me a fucking break, this hypocrisy doesn't smell good any more, this hypocrisy just stinks. You know that smell, when something is really old and dying, like it is still clinging to life yet has already died inside on so many levels? Oh, of course you do...sorry, how silly of me.

I can assure you, this is a comedy website. We aren't trying to convince you of that matter Alex. Much like I suspect everything else in your world, it just happens to be that way, without your approval or beliefs being taken into consideration, because they happen to be out-dated and not worth as much now as you think they should be.

Tonight...or rather at 6:00 PM, after you put your teeth in a glass and go to bed, try and figure out this one:

It WAS nice talking to you indeed, Alex, although I dare say it was about as productive as shouting at the rain. Who knows though, maybe...just maybe, an old dog can learn a new trick or two...but then...I doubt it since you didn't even follow the link which answered all your questions.

The last word is indeed mine to explore for sure, because much like many of your generation, I'm sure you simply can't keep it up for long anyway. Like so many people of your generation, with your inability to adapt and change to fluid thought, you choose to rather just give up and pass away silently, without anyone even noticing. Shame really, because I bet there was a day, no so long ago, where you would have been able to go the distance in a debate...but you're tired...we get it. We understand. It's okay Alex, there's nothing more you have to offer anymore that the rest of us can't carry on here for you in your absence.

P.S. It isn't the answering every comment that makes such a big and worthwhile difference in our traffic, but rather the hilarity of some of our commentators ideas. Yours certainly didn't disappoint in the providing laughter department.

Alex, all this adversary bullshit aside, I sincerely wish you the very best with what little time you have left and I truly hope your find some form of laughter in your final years on this planet. Life is too damn short to take it THIS seriously. Just some free advice.


You won't go far taking my words or single phares out of context and turning them around as a starting point for your answers. You have entirely missed my point, which is well known all over this world, except for the U.S.A. Namely - you guys are so self-centered, so opinionated, so ignorant, so arogant, and so full of it that you are unable to notice the existence of other cultures and other value systems, most of which are older than your own. No wonder most Americans cannot piont to the capital of another country on a map - something that rarely happens in other countries (perhaps except for Tasmania and parts of the rain forest in Brasil).

I am not even talking of tolerance here - your national way of dealing with other cultures seems to be - subdue or we will bomb you to stoneage. That's not exactly what I call tolerance. And yes, I am bitter about it because I do give a damn, I care.

Thanks anyway, you helped me understand why so many people died and were killed in religious wars. Fanaticism is worse than fascism.

I guess I have done my share in boosting your traffic, so take care and take the opinions of others into consideration, from time to time. It's not going to hurt.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Alex with each passing comment your true intolerance, bigotry and bitterness of anything other than your own beliefs shines through. You are so closed minded that you refuse to even read the responses to your own questions. You claim to give a damn and care, yet all you are doing is spitting and sputtering hatred with each new comment. Your hypocrisy is quite frankly staggering and honestly seems more like what YOU view Americans to be than most Americans I know. How is it that you have so easily become what you hate most about what you think Americans are like?

You ask me to take the opinions of others into consideration, yet you yourself are blind to anything other than what you think.

It's hilarious that this all started out with you disapproving of me making silly jokes about one politician and one "cultural behavior" of kissing someone else's kid on the stomach and that you are now spouting hatred and intolerance of an entire nation of people made up of numerous different cultures from all over the world.

Like I said before, isn't it funny that those who claim to have the most history always manage to demonstrate having the least wisdom.

Let's try this again Alex, and this time you might want to actually read my rebuttal to your remarks before commenting again, unless you are too much of a coward to open your mind to something other than your own thoughts.

Top 5 Reasons Americans are So Rude

Perhaps you have reached that sorrowful age where no new ideas can even penetrate the decaying mind which has closed and shut down completely.

Prove me wrong Alex, read the article and give me a well thought out, intelligent response NOT filled with nationalistic hatred, bigotry and intolerance.

Or just say nothing more and continue to represent yourself as the bitter old individual that you have demonstrated yourself to be more than once now.

I await your reply, because I think deep down you are probably better than this sorry representation that you have put forth here.

I guess we'll see though.

Listen, just wanted to say that i'm russian, & this article is hilarious, the way you perceive things. U know nothing about Putin, only that stuff you pulled out in pictures, or facts u read online...

The last one - him kissing a belly, is just b'cos a boy said, he was hungry, when Putin asked him how is he. Did u notice reaction of people gathered around? They all giggled. None went like: OMG!!! It looks completely normal to me too, like an act of mercy, or generosity..., he did what people do when they want to show love to their child.
I kiss my baby's belly all the time!

About his looks... Well ... do u think you are handsome? Not a bit! And now imagine yourself in 50 years??? a wrinkled Tart!

I wish u to grow up, & get smart in a wise sort of way.

Andrei Trostel's picture

Listen, just wanted to say that you are giving Russians a bad name when it comes to sense of humor. This is a comedy website which is supposed to be ridiculous and hilarious, hence all the ridiculous Putin Puns. You know nothing about me, only one picture and stuff you read in "comedy" articles online...

Exactly how is you judging me any different than me judging Putin? Except, mine is comedy/satire and yours is serious, making you not only a huge hypocrite but one with no sense of humor.

I wish you to get a freakn' clue and get smart in a wise sort of way.

Don't take life so seriously and you might enjoy it more.

Putin is good for the russian people, he wont sell Russia to foreign powers like Jeltsin did

Andrei Trostel's picture

He's also good for a pretty much all politicians.

He kissed the boy because its Russian culture. Many of those things he does are training required for the KGB. He has brought the country out of multi-trillion dollar deficit since America fucked it up with Gorbachev. American news has portrayed being a lunatic when in fact many Russian people are like this. Even though Putin is a dictator himself with his own propaganda news (RussiaToday) which is the equivalent to Fox, CBS and all that other bullshit, he will never sell the Slavics out and neither would the Serbs.

I also understand now why the USA have such a fucked up foreign policy. It is necessary for countries to fear and respect the world leader. So around every five to ten years America fucks a country up for personal use, however it is necessary to protect its own "interests." Look throughout history, UK, Japan, Rome, Greece, Mongolia, Persia all fucked up other countries to become a stronger one internally and externally. Therefore I do not hate America anymore. They are just looking out for there own.

BTW. Russia saved the world in WWII any logical professor will tell you that. *RUSSIA *RUSSIA (with a fist pump)

Andrei Trostel's picture

I can't argue with the fact that America has done the same bullshit that other countries throughout history have done. Everyone in the world is just looking out for their own (including the rest of the world's countries) and that in itself is a big problem we should ALL change. We should all start looking out for each other too.

You might find this article and the comment section intriguing actually.

Top 5 Reasons Americans are So Rude

Haha That last line "(with a fist pump)" cracked me up to no thanks for that and thanks for your comment.


I can't argue with the fact that America has done the same bullshit that other countries throughout history have done.
Name other country who genocides population of entire continent.

Andrei Trostel's picture

You're in the wrong article.
People who come from countries with a completely spotless and perfect history are over in this article.

Top 5 Reasons Americans are So Rude

Please pay particular attention to the comment section too, where all your questions are answered.

You're in the wrong article.
People who come from countries with a completely spotless and perfect history are over in this article.
It's not about me.
So I'm in right article. :p

So you can't answer my questions?

Andrei Trostel's picture

Actually it IS about you. That article IS my answer to people complaining and pointing fingers at Americans. It's a frank explanation for everything the world wants answers for.

Let's not pretend that the history of your country has been all flowers and roses and mine is the root of all evil, because that just comes off as hypocritical bullshit and makes you guilty of the same shit you are pointing fingers at America for.

Be better than that.

I can't argue with the fact that America has done the same bullshit that other countries throughout history have done.
Name other country who used WMD (nuclear weapon) on civilians.
Name other country which president in 20 century received a gift - souvenir made from bone of killed enemy soldier.

Andrei Trostel's picture're in the wrong article.
People who come from countries with a completely spotless and perfect history are over in this article.

Top 5 Reasons Americans are So Rude

Please pay particular attention to the comment section too, where all your questions are answered.

It must be so nice being from a completely perfect society where nothing bad ever happens to anyone due to your highly enlightened states of mind...oh aren't from one of those countries, because that country doesn't exist.


Andrei Trostel's picture

I would...if I read Russian and Google translate just makes it look like boring political talk.


Ha ha ha Hilarious article. nicely written. I would pay anything to see Putin and Chuck Norris in a cage match. Although I think I know who the winner will be ;)

Andrei Trostel's picture


I'm not sure the cage match would ever even start, since both Putin and Norris would be too busy pandering to the cameras. :P

Andrei Trostel ... you sir are a funny bugger!

Andrei Trostel's picture

Thank you, that's kind of you to say.

I have a minicrush on you for using ebonics (l) AT ftw!

And your is glorious.

Andrei Trostel's picture

I sincerely thank you for your kind words, but you might want to raise your standards a little higher than simply using ebonics.


I can't help it, I have a soft spot for the unexpected use of ebonics..sigh ^.^

Andrei Trostel's picture

I'd reply in ebonics, but you were probably expecting that, which defeats the purpose.


Seriously, I can't take all the wittiness! You probably have to use a flyswatter to keep the dames off of you. Use one on me, because I can't help but Swoon ^.^

Andrei Trostel's picture

Wait, you have an 8000 km flyswatter? One that can reach all the way to Den Haag?
Imagine the size of the fly!
How have I not heard of this already?!
I mean, you'd think a fly that big would make the news or something.


omg I feel so special because you located little old moi ^.^ I don't know why you keep talking about flies. The subject is the dames following you. I have NO guys around me with wit. It is so refreshing :D

I have no more cute replies, because I'm dealing with a cool writer here, so I'll just say, thanks for the great articles. Sorry for sounding so generic, but it just seeps through no matter how hard I try to fight it u_u

In Dutch I have for you:

Schrijf ze!

Andrei Trostel's picture

Of course I located little old vous...
First rule of surviving a stalker...always stay a few step ahead of them, otherwise it means they caught you. :P

I keep talking about flies, because you asked me to use a flyswatter on you...which would have to be HUGE to reach you in the Netherlands. A huge fly swatter must mean a giant mutant radioactive fly is out there. Giant mutant radioactive flies should really be talked about, don't you think?

Dank u!

ps. I have no name because I'm just lazy like that u_u

Michael Winston's picture

get a room

Andrei Trostel's picture

Michael you're just jealous that you don't have a tiny little Dutch stalker that you may or may not be able to carry around in your pocket, who can build miniature little windmills and shit for you.

For all those other little tiny Dutch people out there who are now feeling unwelcome in my comment section, because of the mean grumpy bad Canadian man...I have this for you:


That's actually german..

Anyway, sadly, I am sensing a bit of contempt on your part. Excuse my enthusiastic response to your article. Thanks for giving me the heads up on being a creepy, radioactive, stalkish commenter!

I guess it took away from the magic of this website. So good luck with your millions of readers, I'm sure neither I or my generic comments will be missed :)

*sn:you have a way of turning people you don't like off with a quickness, thanks for showing me the technique!

Andrei Trostel's picture

It is?! I always thought those were Dutch Hex symbols. At least Pennsylvania Dutch which I just assumed originated from the Netherlands.

On the contrary! You are sensing a bit of endearing silliness on my part by envisioning you as an adorable little Dutch person small enough to fit in my pocket and build tiny little windmills. I mean who doesn't love tiny little windmills?!

No, the giant mutant flies were radioactive...not you!

Come back tiny little Dutch reader...please come back!
You've got it all wrong! PIC is magical...I swear!


Well...I'll think about it, goedenavond van de kleine molenbouwer en dank voor een

Translated: the little windmillbuilder wishes you goodnight and thanks for a polite response.

Andrei Trostel's picture

One thing you should never do here at PIC, my little windmill builder, is take the writers seriously...especially not me.

I greatly appreciate all my readers, even those who are passionate enough to hate my words.

I mean after all, Een boom zonder bos is als een bos zonder bomen.


Andrei Trostel's picture

P.S. Here I'll do half the work for you...

Oh, Andrei do me, I'm Dutch or some shit. I have splinters on my feet. u_u

Andrei Trostel's picture

Stop trying to clog the comment section.